When You Come Back Down
by Kimbre
Summary: What happens when love is forbidden? Angel shipper story; if you don't like them, please do not click to open the file. Nasty reviews after this warning will not be tolerated by the author.
1. Chapter 1

A gentle breeze blew lazily through the trees as small children raced back and forth in a lively game of Freeze Tag. Mothers sat on park benches absorbed in conversation with other mothers as they watched their wee ones playing in their strollers or on blankets nearby.

Everywhere she looked, people were heavily drinking in the sweetness of the beginning of spring, so why did Monica feel as if she couldn't breathe?

Usually, the angel would be enjoying the warmth of the day, taking the time to chat with some of the human beings she was so incredibly fond of or fussing over the children as they looked up at her with the innocence of the world written on their little faces, but five months ago, her existence, as she had known it had ceased to exist.

They had never meant for it to happen. They hadn't planned it, hadn't even talked about it beforehand. It had been sweet and innocent, much like the spring day and the wee children with no intent of any wrong doing. It had felt like the most natural thing in all the world and in heaven when her lips had met Andrew's for the first time and suddenly the dearest, most complete relationship she had ever known in her existence had become so much more.

The feelings had startled them both, left them speechless and longing for more and suddenly they had no longer been able to help themselves. The loving emotions had always been there in some way, through the deep friendship they had always shared, yet something more had been forced to lay dormant in their hearts until that moment when it would no longer be restrained.

Though they hadn't felt that they were wrong, something else told them that it would be perceived that they were, so they had kept their new relationship a secret. God, of course knew as they could hide nothing from Him and though there had been no guidance, there neither had been reprimands. Oh yes, they still threw all they were created to be into helping the Father's beloved children on earth as it was joy that consumed them both, but then moments in between assignments, the two angels would come together to share loving kisses and tender confessions of love for each other. They shared their fears over what would become of them if anyone found out and he dried her tears and held her tightly when her gentle heart would begin to panic and doubt.

But despite everything and how careful they were, their newfound love had been discovered by Monica's supervisor and the older angel had been so taken back and angry that she had summoned Sam. Monica and Andrew had been shell shocked as they watched it all fall apart around them and she had sobbed bitterly in his arms as they were both judged and convicted before they could scarcely offer any explanation or justification.

But the two angels would have lived that moment again and again if it had meant they could have avoided the one that followed. The one where they were informed they were being separated, possibly forever, in order to remedy the all too human problem between them. The Irish angel's throat had closed off, the ball of fear that had been in her stomach had found its way up and all that could escaped her was small, strangled mewing cries as Andrew had held her as tightly as he dared as their fate was decided.

"I will always love you, my precious angel," He had whispered against her hair as her tears had trailed down and into his shirt, "Don't give up on us, baby."

All she had been able to do was to shake her head in way of answer, too overcome to even tell him how much she loved him, how much she was dying inside at this very moment, how he was taking a piece of her heart with him.

And suddenly the moment had been over and he was gone, along with Sam and Monica had been left standing in the field with only Tess. She had felt as numb then as she did now, five long and torturous months later, and nothing seemed to alleviate the sadness that had settled into her soul. She worked, just as she always had, still giving the Father her all, as He seemed to be the only one who had not judged her or Andrew, yet she had been unable to go to Him. Had the "solution" to she and Andrew come from him? Monica doubted it. The "solution" seemed nothing short of cruel to her and she knew God was not that.

It seemed that only a short time ago, her time off between assignments would be spent in the company of those she loved the most; Andrew and Tess, but since that fateful day, she spent the time alone with her thoughts, reliving every moment with the gentle Angel of Death that she could recall, sure it was the only thing that kept her physically breathing.

They were so wrong; Tess and Sam, if they thought that driving a barrier of distance and absence between she and Andrew would make them forget. No. She didn't forget. Her heart only ached more as the days went by, the emptiness in her soul seeming to grow more and more hollow. The only time she felt anything like herself was when she was working, but not even angels could work around the clock continuously.

The only downside to working was that her relationship with Tess was strained. Though not an angel to harbor bitterness and anger, Monica also couldn't bring herself to forget either, and apparently, neither could Tess. It was obvious that the older angel felt disappointment in her young charge, though no mention was ever made of the "situation" as it was occasionally referred, when Monica would overhear snippets of conversation between Tess and Sam. Referring to the love between she and Andrew as a "situation" only reinforced what the little angel already knew; that they didn't care to take the time to even try to understand.

Monica walked deeper and deeper into the park until she finally found a secluded spot where she could be alone and talk to Andrew. Oh, she knew he couldn't hear her, but it still didn't stop her from feeling better simply by speaking her thoughts aloud to him in her heart. Though there was a bench under the tree, the angel opted for the ground instead and then raised her sad, mocha colored eyes to the sky as if searching for answers that were simply hidden behind the clouds. What was that saying humans had? Something about behind every cloud was a silver lining? Where was her silver lining then, or was the whole thing just another misconception among people?

She supposed it was all about hope and Andrew's last words to her rang through her mind once more. No, she would never give up; she couldn't give up. She loved him and as sure as the sun would rise tomorrow somewhere in the world, she knew that love wasn't wrong.

"I miss you…" the three little words were breathed out as she closed her eyes, summoning Andrew's handsome face before her mind's eye, needing to see him anyway she could. With the words, the pain radiated deep within in her soul; it was a constant presence with her now. Unless the love of God was filling her as she revealed His love to one of his children, the only two things she felt were numbness and pain.

The breeze blew through once more, causing her auburn locks to dance around her head and Monica filled her lungs with the sweet air as if she hadn't taken a breath in a very long time. Her eyes remained closed as she cherished these quiet moment when she could visit with the one she held onto so tightly, if only in her heart.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the kind reviews. It has been a long time since I've written solo and I'm trying to overcome my insecurities about doing it! Bear with me too, because having never posted on this site, I am finding it incredibly confusing! Enjoy another angsty chapter, but if you all know me, well, you know how I feel about angst!**

Chapter 2

He felt like the walking wounded.

Yes, Andrew had felt anger before at an occasional assignment, but now his nearly unbridled fury was his constant companion. Revealing himself to an assignment came as a great relief, because for just that all too brief moment, he felt the things he was created most to feel; love, compassion, hope. But as soon as the glow faded, the anger crept back into his heart, lying quietly just beneath the surface

He was angry at Tess for the way she had handled things when she had discovered the relationship between himself and the little Irish angel. He was angry at Sam for all but literally ripping Monica from his arms five months ago and there were a few moments when he was nearly angry with God for not intervening.

Andrew was also angry at his own helplessness. He ached to know how Monica was doing, where she was, how she felt. Her absence was like a physical blow while the look of desperation in her dark eyes the last time he'd seen her, haunted him. It had all happened so fast and neither of them had even had a moment to process what was happening, but he knew the basic truths.

He loved the little Irish angel. He hated the judgment that had been reaped down upon them in a matter of minutes. He loathed this separation that had been forced upon them and he despised that he had no idea what to do about it.

"Still here, huh?" Adam appeared on the shore of the lake right beside of his fellow angel of death. He waited patiently until Andrew responded as he regarded his friend worriedly, but then again, he'd been worried about Andrew a lot lately.

"Yeah, well, I guess until Sam comes to collect me for whatever the next assignment is, I can be anywhere I'd like to be. Well, almost anywhere."

Adam sighed. It had been like this for weeks now. Andrew was his friend and his friend was hurting, yet no one who wanted to help knew what to do. It wasn't like they could overturn the decision that had been made, no matter how much they disagreed with it.

"You're not giving up, are you?"

Andrew shook his head firmly, "Never. How could I? I just…I just need to be close to her, Adam. This, whatever it is, is unfathomable."

Silence fell between them briefly before Adam ventured out again, "For what it's worth, buddy, I don't think what has happened is the answer either," He saw a sad smile cross Andrew's face briefly that was a rare sight these days, "I mean, you and Monica? You've been together forever. Instead of asking 'How could this happen?', they should be asking 'How could it have not?'"

"I hear you and have asked myself the same question. We never planned it, Adam-."

"Of course you didn't! No angel would! I know both of you pretty well and I know neither of you would have gone looking for these kinds of emotions."

"Yet here they are just the same," The blond angel replied quietly as he stuffed both hands into the pockets of his khaki pants, "I don't know what to do, Adam. Monica, she's out there somewhere right now and I know her. She's suffering, I'm sure of it."

"You both are," Adam observed firmly, before both angels fell back into silence.

The breeze from the lake ruffled through Andrew's short blonde hair, reminding him of the gentle touch of the Irish angel he was desperately missing. Five months. Five months and Sam had not even bothered to let him know how she was. He supposed that was the point really; like somehow not knowing would make them forget. But the fact was that was never going to happen. There was a far greater chance of Kathleen deciding she was wrong for turning away from God and begging to come back to heaven. Some things were just too ridiculous to imagine.

He wondered how it was even possible for him to be standing here now, hearing the birds chirping and the breeze rippling through the trees; all of God's magnificent creation breathing and alive around him, yet everything in his own world was falling apart. His world felt so far from right and he felt detached from everything around him.

"Something has to give, Adam. I have to find her. I have to know she is all right." But he knew it was more than that; he needed to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her, to feel her heart beating against his own. He needed to feel as if he could breathe again.

"You can't get away at all?" Adam glanced over at Andrew, hating the torment he could see etched into his features.

"Are you kidding? Sam has been giving me one assignment after another. This is the first moment I've had to stand still in three months time," He pulled out his pocket watch and glanced at it, "And I don't have much time left before I have to go."

Adam crossed his arms in front of him and emitted another sigh. As an angel, he supposed he shouldn't be having the kind of thoughts he was currently having, but then again, they were being told that angels should not be falling in love with each other, but that misconstrued theory was kind of blown and standing right beside him.

"Let me see what I can do." The words were out and hanging in the air between them almost before Adam realized he had said them.

"What?" Emerald green eyes turned sharply in his direction.

"Maybe there is something that can be done. Maybe I can find her; you know, ask around and find out where she is working. That would be half your battle solved if you just knew where she was."

"I don't want you getting into trouble on my account, Adam."

The other angel smirked, "What are we? High school humans? I'm not too worried about not being able to use the car, buddy." He grinned, trying to lighten Andrew's mood.

"I mean it." The blond angel raised an eyebrow in his friend's direction to let him know he meant business. Though he was desperate for word on Monica, he didn't want to drag anyone else down with him. It would hardly be fair.

"You let me worry about me, okay? I'm a big angel and I can handle this. All I'm going to do, Andrew, is ask some questions. Nothing forbidden about that; asking after a friend is all," He met Andrew's gaze, "And I have a feeling Monica would love to know that you're okay too. Any particular message you'd like me to convey?"

He looked quickly back to the water, watching the reflection of the sun as it played upon the soft ripples. His jaw tightened as he fought back the wide range of emotions and was finally able to speak, "Tell her I love her."

Laying a reassuring hand on Andrew's shoulder, Adam nodded his head, "Done."

As the angel disappeared, Andrew again glanced at his watch and sighed. It was time and no matter how satisfactory it would feel, he didn't want to keep Sam waiting.


	3. Chapter 3

I hope I have this right as I find posting here complicated! Thank you for being patient! I am still recovering but feeling much better!

**Chapter 3**

Adam had been an angel for a long, long time; much longer than Andrew and Monica combined, so he knew his way around heaven with his eyes closed and knew almost every angel that had been created. He knew which ones existed purely by the book, and those who might be willing to help him out in locating one little Irish angel. That was why Adam searched until he located Rafael.

The Hispanic angel listened intently as Adam related what had happened and nodded before Adam was anywhere near finished, "I've heard what happened between them, amigo. Denying them is hardly the answer."

"I agree. I told Andrew I would try to find her. Have you heard anything?"

"Actually, I saw Monica last week," His eyes flashed with pain at the memory, "She seemed lost. I wanted to talk to her about what had happened; to let her know I knew and that I understood her sorrow, but something in her eyes stopped me. It was like her grief was too great for her to speak."

Adam frowned worriedly, "Any idea where she could be now?"

"Nada, but I know where she was last week and that's as good a starting place as any, but you should know I'm coming with you."

"Andrew was kind of insistent about not wanting help. He's afraid of anyone else getting into trouble. You sure you want to risk it?"

"Si," He punctuated his word with a sharp nod of his head, "They are my friends too, Adam, and I think it would be more than beneficial right now for Monica to know there are angels who don't agree. I could almost feel the aloneness coming from her heart."

"Right. Then let's get going."

It only took them a human day to find her, but it took another two days for Monica to complete her assignment and for Tess to leave her alone for awhile for a much needed break. Adam and Rafael, not visible to the young angel and her supervisor, witnessed firsthand the tension that existed between them and it saddened them both. As Tess vanished from sight, the pain in Monica's mocha colored eyes could almost be felt in their own souls.

"Hola, bonita angelita."

The sound of Rafael's voice caused Monica to turn around, shock registering across her lovely features at the sight of two of her co-workers, but immediately, her expression was guarded, "Rafael. Adam. What are you doing here?"

Adam could see clearly hear the fear behind her words; fear of judgment and he felt a twinge of anger in his heart for what she and Andrew had been put through by those they trusted, "It's okay, Monica. We're here as your friends."

Her eyes darted from one angelic face to the other, still not reassured. Five long months of internalizing her feelings and her pain had convinced her that there would never be another breathing soul she could speak to honestly, other than Andrew. Her initial knee-jerk reaction to their presence was to flee, but before she could, Rafael stepped forward and grasped her forearms gently.

"Monica, you will find no judgment here. Adam and I, we don't think for one second that neither Tess nor Sam was correct in their decision to keep you and Andrew apart. What they've done is every bit as wrong as what they believe the two of you to be. Love, senorita, is a gift from the Father after all, and perhaps they should have been asking Him what he thought about it."

A shudder went through Monica's slight body and she felt the unwanted rush of tears to her eyes. This was the first bit of compassion she had been shown since that terrible day. No, Tess had not been cruel, but their relationship was so different now and Monica could so clearly see the disappointment in her supervisor's eyes each time Tess looked at her.

Her liquid eyes moved past the Hispanic angel to look at Adam, standing just slightly behind Rafael. Adam, so often jovial and sarcastic, was looking at her almost tenderly and when he nodded his head slightly in agreement, she felt the tears push forward and cascade down her cheeks.

"Thank you…" She managed to whisper around the tightness in her throat.

"No thanks are necessary, Monica," Adam replied softly, watching as Rafael hugged her close just long enough for her to be able to get control over her emotions once more. His heart was heavy with the realization that their simple kindness had reduced her to tears, leaving him to imagine what her existence had been like the last several months.

As Rafael released her, she wiped ineffectively at her face, trying to dry the wetness, as she voiced the question she most dreaded the answer to, "Have you…have you seen him?"

"I have," Adam answered, kind gray eyes meeting her teary ones, "I told him I would try to find you."

"Él te ama," Rafael smiled softly at her, "Very much, Monica. He loves you very much. He wanted you to know."

The words brought a trembling smile to her face, if only for a moment as she felt the tears escaping once more, "I don't know what to do," The words were choked out, catching on a sob.

"You're going to let us help you with that," Adam stated firmly, stepping forward to exchange a glance with Rafael, "How long before your next assignment?"

"Two days, I think. Unless something happens."

The two male angels exchanged silent communication; if they were breaking any rules, one look at Monica convinced them it was worth it.

"Stay with her," Adam instructed, "I'll see what can be worked out."

Sometime later, Rafael and Monica walked in silence along the riverbank. The little Irish angel hardly dared to hope that things would work to their advantage and that soon she would see her beloved; her existence had been filled with disappointment of late and she wasn't certain she could handle any more.

"Has it been difficult for you, mi Amiga?" Rafael broke the silence as he cast a worried glance at his angelic companion. Monica had always been full of life and so inquisitive and her silence was unsettling to him.

"Yes," She replied softly, her arms crossed over her body in silent self preservation, "Ever since that day; that horrible day, nothing has felt right, Rafe. Everything has changed; My relationship with Tess, Andrew's absence. I feel so alone."

"You know you are never alone, Monica."

"My head knows that, but my heart feels completely….isolated," A helpless shrug of her shoulders caused the Hispanic angel to wrap a brotherly arm around her.

He could see the tears that shimmered in her eyes at his touch and it drove home to him just how true her words were. Isolated. Alone. Afraid. It was obvious, and it wasn't something Monica was accustomed to.

She turned her haunted eyes to him a moment later, "You truly don't believe they're right?"

"No." His voice held just a touch of anger, "There is nada…nothing right about what they did, querida amiga. The two of you didn't plan this and I'm sure it took you both by surprise."

"It did," Monica whispered sadly, "And it frightened us, but at the same time, it was…wonderful." The last word was a breath as she closed her eyes briefly.

"Amor usually is," Rafael smiled.

"Then how can the results of it be so horrible?"

The grief in her eyes was hard to accept and Rafael longed to be able to give her an answer that would be helpful. He stopped walking and removed his arm from her shoulders in order to take her small hands into his own, "I don't think it has to be. Have faith, angelita. God is still in control of this situation, even though there are others who think that they are. Judgment and confusion are not truth; only the Father is truth. Your story with Andrew is only beginning. Don't lose heart yet."

A lonely tear slipped down her face at his words, "I want you to be right. Thank you for being here."

"I'll stay until Adam returns with Andrew." He assured her as they continued walking.

"Do you think he will?" Monica held her breath as she waited for the answer.

He cast a glance at her and smiled knowingly, "Si."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_Sorry for the long absence but I have not abandoned this story. Summer has been very busy with the kids off school and we have done a bit of travelling, but I'm back and hoping to post, well, relatively regularly! Enjoy!_

The day was just beginning to fade into twilight and Raphael and Monica had been walking for a long time, but suddenly, the Hispanic angel knew they were no longer alone. Looking up sharply and almost protectively, a peaceful smile slipped into place as he saw Adam. Nodding his head, he reached for Monica's hand to stop her movement.

"Angelito, it is time for me to bid you goodbye for now, but remember what I said. Remember what the truth is and that tonight is only a beginning."

The younger angel looked startled at the announcement he was leaving and was even further distraught when he kissed her cheek and vanished. Tears welling up in her eyes, she whirled around, trying to see what had caused him to leave her so suddenly and what she saw caused a cry to escape her lips as her hands flew to her mouth.

The emotion on the blond angel's face was impossible to miss as he stood just at the entrance to the forest in a white shirt and khaki pants, making him appear boyishly handsome, but it was his eyes, his beautiful green eyes that nearly hypnotized her and a heartbeat later, his name had escaped her lips.

"Andrew…"

Monica was quickly caught up in his arms and nearly crushed against his body as his arms held her tightly, lifting her just off the ground, "Angel…my precious, precious angel…" Andrew's fingers entwined in her long tresses as he set her back on her feet, his eyes taking in every aspect of her tear-streaked face, "Oh baby, I've missed you so much. Monica, you have no idea…"

"I do," She choked out as her hands moved to touch him; his face, his hair, his arms, hardly able to fathom that he was truly here, "I've been so lonely for you…Andrew…" A sob cut off her words and then he was kissing her, his lips covering every inch of her face, brushing away her tears and stealing her breath. Then to fulfill a need within himself, Andrew just held her tightly up against his chest once more, cradling her close, cherishing the feeling of her heart beating against his own.

Monica wanted to stay in his embrace forever, yet they both knew that time was not on their side. Part of her didn't want to know, yet she knew she had to, "How long?"

"Morning," The single word was grieved as he kissed the top of head, feeling the miserable shudder that flowed through her as she held him tighter.

"And then what?" Her lilt caught in a sob, though she hated to mourn his absence when he was here with her for the first time in so long.

"I don't know, baby," His voice held barely constrained desperation, "I don't know, but I do know this," He pulled away enough to look into her liquid brown eyes, "I want every minute to count. I don't want to waste a second of it."

There was so much more to say, yet the little angel didn't want to lose a moment of their stolen time together commiserating about how they were treated or about Tess' words or about the way the older angel's relationship with her had been reduced to a mere supervisor-employee status. Such things would only grieve Andrew's heart in the morning when he would have to leave her so they were not the important words that needed to be exchanged.

"If they thought separating us would make me stop loving you, they were wrong," Eyes that held the honesty of the world gazed up into his as she spoke, "I've never stopped. It's grown stronger. Not being with you only causes me to want to be with you even more."

His hands framed her face as he struggled not to get lost in her brown pools, "I love you. You're my first thought every single day and my last waking thought at night. Monica, I've been so worried about you; I just wanted to find you and hold you and to make all of this go away."

"For tonight, let's pretend you can," She pleaded.

"Whatever you want, Angel. Whatever you want."

Then he was kissing her again as their bodies melded together, forgetting about their current plight and not thinking about the impending separation that would come as the sun rose in the morning. For now, it all fell away, dispersed by nothing more or nothing less, than true love.

****

Just before the dawn, the two angels walked hand in hand through the forest in silence. They walked slowly, only too aware of the sun's slow ascent behind them and Monica tightened the grip on his hand even as her other hand came around in front of her to grab his wrist.

She didn't want to cry and make this anymore difficult for Andrew than it needed to be, yet her heart felt as if it were being slowly ripped from her chest with every step they took closer to the edge of the woods. She felt his fingers curl more tightly around her own and Monica knew she wasn't kidding anyone; this was going to be the most difficult thing they had ever done.

Just before they would have emerged from the protection of the forest, Andrew stopped walking and turned to face her. His eyes were filled with great love and tenderness which transmitted to his fingers as they delicately traced the outline of her face, his gaze drinking in every aspect and feature. His heart ached as he watched the little angel of his heart blink rapidly to try to keep the tears at bay and when her chin trembled slightly he knew it would not be long before they were released, no matter how hard she was fighting not to cry.

"You know this is not the end," He whispered to her as he rested his warm palm against her cheek, watching as she closed her eyes at the touch, the first tiny bursts of sunlight over the mountain allowing him to make out the tears that clung to her long lashes.

"Raphael said it was the beginning," Monica replied just as softly, though there was no one but God within a hundred miles to hear, "But beginnings shouldn't be taken away as soon as they start."

"Are you sorry? I mean, are you sorry I came here last night?"

Her eyes sprang open and her tearful words were even more pained, "No! Andrew, never. I would go through the horrible moment of you leaving a million times to just spend an hour with you! Don't you know that?"

He drew her close, sheltering her, "I do; of course I do. I just hate to see you cry, Angel; to see this pain in your eyes."

"But last night I was whole for the first time in so long because you were with me…and it is those moments I will cling to until we are able to be together again, Andrew."

"I'll be existing for that moment, Monica and thinking of you the entire time," Pulling back, he kissed her possessively, stealing her breath and quickening her heartbeat, "I will find a way through this, Angel. You have my word."

A small hand moved to his chest, "And you have my heart."

The whisper to his own heart told him it was breaking…and that he had to leave before Sam came looking for him, "I love you, my beautiful angel. Stay strong, Monica."

"I love you too," She uttered even as the tears began to cascade down her face.

Andrew kissed her once more and then rested his forehead against hers for a moment, "Never forget how much I love you," He whispered, before giving her forehead a lingering a kiss and vanishing.

As if he had never been there to begin with.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

It had started out innocently enough and she had barely given it a thought. Monica's nerves had been frayed to the point of snapping in the days and weeks after she had last seen Andrew. Everything had changed that night and not having him close now was crippling her emotionally. Not having anyone to talk to about it, no one to reassure her that one day there would be a solution was nearly driving her mad, so when she snapped back at Tess one day after the older angel made a more snarky than usual comment, the little angel had not been overly surprised at her own reaction. Once upon a time, Tess had been her confidante, her comforter, her friend and then her supervisor, but now that had all changed and the little angel's frustration had finally hit an all time high.

But the argument had caught fire as Tess had been harboring her own frustrations and Monica had not gotten another word in; she considered herself blessed that she had contained her sobs until Tess had vanished and left her alone. Monica was ashamed of her words as it was so unlike her, but she barely felt like herself at all anymore, and once Tess departed, Monica allowed herself to cry into exhaustion. They were the first tears she had shed in three months; the morning she had last seen Andrew. She had been trying to be strong as he had asked, but the stress of their situation had her feeling exhausted most of the time. Yes, she still handled each and every assignment with absolute love and precision as when God's love was flowing through her, for those moments she felt absolute hope in everything; the human race, the world, her relationship with Andrew.

But in those terrible moments after the argument with Tess, the little angel felt as if she were hitting rock bottom and she cried to the point that her stomach lurched and her human belly lost its all too human lunch. Monica had then willed herself to calm down and though her tears dried, her sadness remained. She had never felt so alone in the world and she was often too afraid to go Home in between assignments as she simply didn't know what might await her there. Other than Adam and Raphael, no other angels had attempted to see her to show their support and more judgment would simply be more than she could handle.

Monica had tried to apologize to Tess at the start of their next assignment, but there was only more proof that the relationship may be beyond repair.

"I don't need your apologies, Monica, unless what you are really apologizing for is this mess with Andrew. That's the root of the real problem here and we both know it."

Her expression completely broken, the little angel looked at Tess sadly, "I'll never apologize for that, Tess, and I'll never be sorry for how I feel about him.."

And that had been the end of that conversation and Monica was just grateful there had not been another battle. But it did remind her of how terribly lonely she was, how much her heart ached and how afraid she was that their beginning had indeed been the end.

Her human form had very little appetite, which was probably a good thing as the further she launched into despair, the more temperamental her stomach became. Monica felt as if she were breaking her promise to Andrew about remaining strong but her human form had always been particularly sensitive and now was no exception, and given her limited time at Home to avoid any judgment, she was on earth more than usual.

Three months after her night with Andrew, Raphael showed up and the startled expression on his face when he saw her, told her that she must look as terrible as she had been feeling.

"Angelito? Monica, are you well? Senorita, you are so pale," He rested his hands on his friend's shoulders and looked into her weary eyes with great concern.

His kindness gave some warmth to her heart, "Rafe, I could really use a friend right now…"

She didn't cry; she was simply too tired to do so, but she allowed him to lead her to a quiet place where she poured out her heart about missing Andrew, about her problems with Tess, about her fear of going Home. He listened intently, a brotherly arm wrapped around her shoulders and was not at all surprised when she finished with a desperate question, "Have you seen him? Have you seen Andrew?"

Regret filled his brown eyes as he sadly shook his head, "No Monica. I'm so sorry, but I haven't. Maybe Adam has but I haven't seen him either."

"Rafe," Monica whispered, her own eyes haunted, "I'm afraid it was the end for us."

"Keep the faith, little angel. I don't believe that for a moment." And he didn't, but he was already making a mental note to try to locate Andrew. Monica's human form looked too thin, too pale, too sad and the Angel of Death needed to know it.

But it was during her next assignment that it all came to a head. Her run down human form had swooned and she had lost her balance, hitting her head against a table, which had rendered her unconscious. Her own assignment had called an ambulance as Tess was nowhere to be found and when Monica had finally come around in the Emergency Room, lying on a stretcher and surrounded by a doctor and two nurses, she had found out the truth.

She had refused to stay overnight, but she was completely numb inside. A small bandage concealing three stitches on her forehead, the dazed angel had walked out of the building and off her assignment. There was no choice now; there was no way she could stay. Monica had no idea where she would go or what she would do, but as Tess would certainly find out the truth, leaving was the only option and she needed time to process all that had happened and to decide what it meant.

But that question was beyond her ability to comprehend.

Monica had no idea if it was a blessing from God…or a punishment.

*****

With a few hours before his next assignment, Andrew had wandered down the city streets until he found a small café. Slipping inside, out of the heat, he ordered a ginger ale and leaned back in his chair. As always, it was Monica who came to his mind.

He was doubting the wisdom of what had happened that night in the woods. He didn't regret it and he was certain Monica didn't either, but that was the source of his problem. He had no idea how she was feeling. What had happened had changed everything between them and as an angel, he was having trouble wrapping his mind around it, but then again, he often internalized everything. Monica on the other hand, tended to talk out her feelings, a trait that endured her to him, but who was she talking to now?

Andrew was pretty sure it wasn't Tess.

They had never planned it; their love for each other had simply taken over, fueled by the impending separation and the knowledge that they had no idea when they would see each other again. They had been placed in an impossible situation, one they had no idea how to win. They had never planned to fall in love with each other..

…and they had never planned to experience physical human love either.

Yet they had. Nature had simply taken over and the little angel had been so innocent and so trusting and Andrew had been amazed at her openness and the way she had clung to him in desperation as the night had stretched into morning. They hadn't slept, but instead had remained in each other's arms, whispering love promises, their hopes and their dreams for their future. They never imagined for a moment that there would not be one.

Now Andrew felt a protection for Monica that was more fierce than anything he had ever felt in the past and he had been pretty sure he had already cornered the market on that one. So feeling a need to keep her safe from anyone especially that might judge or hurt her, yet having no idea where she was drove him at times to the edge of angelic insanity.

He had never expected to be able to love the little angel more than he already did, but he had been wrong.

Andrew also never expected to see Raphael walking in the door of the café then take a seat at the table across from him.

"Amigo, we need to talk."

Andrew had listened in stunned silence as his friend told him about his encounter with Monica; her depression, her physical appearance, her tumultuous relationship with Tess, and the pleading way she had asked if Raphael had seen him. None of what his fellow angel was telling him made him feel any better about the current situation. He had already been worried about her; now he knew he had a reason to be.

"She needs to see you, Andrew. When I saw her, Monica just didn't seem herself. She seemed…perdida…"

Lost. Much like Andrew had been feeling without her, "When did you see her, Raphael?"

"Two days ago, Andrew. She was just getting ready to begin an assignment and she thought it would be a long one so there is a good chance she is still there."

Andrew pulled out his pocket watch and glanced at the time. He still had a few hours, "Will you take me to her?"

"Si amigo. She needs to see you and to talk."

Walking out the door of the café, they vanished and appeared near the stream where Raphael had spoken to the little angel not so long ago. However, there was no sign of Monica now. Thankfully, the Hispanic angel had been with her until she had met her assignment.

"Over there. That's Renee, Monica's assignment."

Andrew wasted no time in introducing himself to the young woman, but when he asked if she had seen Monica, the news was far from reassuring.

"That poor girl. She passed out at work the other day and hit her head; cracked her skull pretty good. The new supervisor, Tess, was not around so I took her to the ER and I haven't seen her since. Tess said she quit."

The brief explanation caused Andrew to feel as if he had been punched in the stomach. Monica was hurt and she had left her assignment. What on earth had happened?

"Tess, do you know where she is?"

"Patrolling the park just over there," Renee pointed in the direction and Andrew felt a wave of anger go through him as he could just make out the older angel in the distance.

"Thanks, Renee," As Raphael waited, Andrew walked briskly in the direction where he could see Tess, all the while trying not to feel completely defensive about speaking to her. Monica had been hurt and she had not been there for her, but at the same time from what Raphael had said, Tess had not been there for Monica long before the accident. The anger in his gut burned the closer he got to her.

"Tess."

The older angel whirled around at the sound of his voice and Andrew was surprised to see conflicting emotions in her eyes, "If you know where she is, Andrew, I need to know."

"I don't know, but you should," He was unable to help his accusatory tone and he still thought he was doing well as what he really felt was unbridled anger.

"I talked to the doctor at the hospital and he said she probably had a mild concussion. She had three stitches but she refused to stay under observation. That's all he would tell me, Andrew. I assumed she went to find you," Tess stated dryly, eyeing him with suspicion.

"I wish that were the case, but I haven't seen her. I'm worried, Tess, and you should be too."

"Of course I'm worried," The older angel snapped, "You know how much I care about that angel, Andrew."

"Perhaps, but the question is does Monica still know that? I have a sinking suspicion that she doesn't. Regardless of how angry you have been with us, she still needed you; especially now." Andrew didn't want to be standing here sparring with Tess; he wanted to be out searching until he found the little angel and then he wanted to hold her for the rest of eternity, "You know, when we first discovered these feelings we had for each other, we were afraid to tell you as we didn't want to disappoint you. It seems our fears were well founded as you reacted badly. You took something that was already confusing and dismissed it, trying to pretend that it never happened and that keeping us apart was the answer. But we all know and tell humans all the time that the truth cannot be ignored, Tess, because ignoring it is nothing more than trying to sweep it under the carpet. It simply attempts to hide it but it is still there, just beneath the surface. You are like a mother to Monica, and you tried to ignore the things that were foremost on her heart, and you took me away from her so who did that leave her to talk to?"

"The Father. You know that."

"You made her feel ashamed. Do you really think she would take that perceived shame to Him?" Andrew was unable to contain the bitterness in his voice and he was sure he saw Tess flinch. It brought him a tiny bit of satisfaction, "Look, I didn't come here to argue with you. I came because I'm worried about Monica and need to find her. Raphael said when he last saw her, she didn't look well."

"She was fine-."

"Was she really or are you just trying to convince yourself?"

"Well, she was obviously upset about this little thing between the two of you, but I wasn't about to discuss that with her."

"No, of course not," He replied. In light of his new relationship with the Irish angel he felt more sure of himself than ever before. He was now certain that Tess and Sam were not right and he also knew he would fight tooth and nail to protect Monica. The petty judgments of those who chose to pass them he no longer had the time nor the patience for as he had a feeling there were now much greater things at stake, "This little thing between us is love, Tess and it doesn't matter whether you like it or not. You and Sam say we were not created to feel those things, yet we do, so where else does love come from? And don't worry; Sam and I will be having the same conversation. If the Father opposes my searching for Monica, that is one thing. You and Sam opposing it? Well, I suppose that will just have to be a problem the two of you have. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an angel to try to find."

Andrew turned away and never looked back. Monica was in trouble in some way, he his job was now to shelter and protect her and unless God Himself intervened, that was exactly what he was going to do.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry I suck so badly at updating. Fact is, I'm a lazy writer because I much prefer co-writing; plotting with someone else, getting to read their parts etc. But I started this and do intend to finish it. 8inchcaliper inspired me this week! Enjoy.

Chapter 6

_They were both breathing hard when their lips finally parted and a shudder ran through the little angel that made her grateful for the warm blaze Andrew had started in the fireplace of the little cabin. They were lying on the floor in front of the fire, arms wrapped around one another, fingers touching faces and eyes seeing into each other's souls. _

_She couldn't get enough of him and knowing it had to be enough to possibly last her to the end of eternity made it all the more urgent. Her fingers curled through his short, blonde hair as their lips met again, briefly before she gasped out her desperate question._

"_What time is it?"_

_He didn't want to look. He hated that these precious moments would have an ending and he wanted to pretend they didn't. He almost couldn't bear the thought of not having her in his arms, of not feeling her warm, soft skin beneath his hands, of not being able to feel her heartbeat up against his own. _

"_Three 'o clock."_

_They should be tired as their human forms could be so confining, but the knowledge that they only had a few more hours before the dawn fueled them, yet Monica's hands were shaking as they framed his face and her next words were not at all what he had been expecting._

"_Make love to me, Andrew."_

_He was sure he had misheard her but as he gazed into her eyes he could see the truth of the world written there, "Don't you think we've crossed enough boundaries?" He was teasing, needing to think about this and needing her to think about this, but she shook her head._

"_I don't care and we may never have another chance to be together," Her mouth was so close to his that her sweet breath tickled his lips, "I need to be one with you. You are a part of me in so many ways and I know you want this too but would never ask it of me. I have to walk away from you in a few hours and I need to know that I have given you all that I am and that I am taking all that you are with me."_

_His heart was nearly pounding out of his chest, "I don't want it to be like this, Angel. Yes, I want nothing more than to make love to you, but right now, you're scared about what will happen when morning comes and I don't want this decision to be based around fear."_

_Her finger against his lips caused a shudder to run up his spine, "This decision is based on my love for you only, Andrew," She blinked rapidly and he could then see the tears in her doe-like eyes, "It's been five months since I last kissed you and if I have to go that long or longer to be held by you again, I need to take greater memories with me. We've already been condemned for loving each other; I see no reason to hold back on any expression of that love, do you?"_

_Andrew's tender fingers danced along her cheeks, drinking in her earnest beauty, "Angel, there is nothing I want more, but can you tell me one thing?" Seeing her slight nod, he continued as he cupped her face in firm hands, "How can I love you like that tonight and walk away from you in the morning?"_

"_I don't want to think about the morning. I only want to think about you and me…now."_

_Her lips against his ignited the fire and passion in both of them. They took their time, exploring new sensations and a deepening intimacy, feeling things they had never thought to feel. The hours until the dawn were filled with touches and whispered words, soft cries and new passion and when the darkness of night began to give way to light, they both had no regrets._

_It was like it was always meant to be._

Monica closed her eyes and allowed the tears to slip from them as she remembered the beauty of their one night together. That night it had felt as if anything was possible and she longed to be reverted back to those precious moments; she longed to be anywhere else but right here, right now.

The little café was dingy but thankfully not crowded and that had allowed her to slip into a corner booth basically unnoticed. She had ordered a coffee she knew she could not drink so her chilly fingers simply remained wrapped around the mug for warmth. She had been awake all night, knowing she could not yet sleep with the minor concussion, lest her human body not wake up again, but she was weary right down to her very bones.

She had gotten as far away from Tess as she could, reappearing on the other side of the country, in a small town where her supervisor would not find her unless God Himself directed her and beings Tess had not yet shown up, it seemed that she was safe for now.

But when had her existence become about hiding? It went against everything she had been created to believe but yet she had been hiding for what seemed like forever. Maybe not physically, but emotionally; always having to keep her love for Andrew inside of her heart, unable to discuss it with anyone but him and on occasion Rafael or Adam. She was an angel of truth, yet her own basic truths had been forced into seclusion by those who didn't want to hear them, who didn't want to help her to understand them.

One hand reached down to lay across her flat tummy, still barely able to comprehend this one basic truth. She didn't know what to think or how to feel. The doctor had warned her that for just over three months along, she was underweight, but she had been too upset to eat much for weeks. Monica didn't know how to do this. She didn't know how to take care of a human body that was harboring new life, especially when she didn't know if she was supposed to feel shame or joy at the consequences of one night in a deserted cabin. She only knew she regretted nothing about that night, even with the truth resting beneath her fingers, that night had been about nothing less than love in its truest form.

Andrew would know what to do if only she could go to him. But Tess would expect her to be with him so that is where she would look and Sam surely knew by now that she was missing, so he would be watching Andrew all the more closely. Why were they being treated like children when it didn't feel as if they had done anything wrong?

"Not enjoying your coffee, honey?"

The waitress was an older woman with cocoa colored hair that was grey at the roots, piled high on her head and sporting a pencil stuck through the center. But her face was kind and maybe even concerned.

"No, it's fine, I…" She felt as if she had to forcefully pry her cold fingers away from the mug, "Could I maybe just have a cup of tea instead? Decaffeinated?"

Sweeping away the lukewarm cup of coffee, the waitress smiled, "Of course. Be back in a jiffy."

The little angel managed a tiny smile; it felt good to speak to someone, even about the most mundane of things like coffee or tea, and to be smiled at instead of frowned upon. Such simple gestures warmed a tiny almost forgotten place in her heart.

She rubbed her eyes with the palms of her small hands, willing herself to remain awake, though resting her head on the tabletop and closing her dark eyes was a much more appealing option.

"Hope ya don't mind, but it looked like you could use a bite to eat as well," The waitress was back with a chicken salad sandwich on toast as well as her hot mug of tea, "You look a little peaked, not to mention that accident you were apparently in," She nodded as she surveyed Monica's forehead; white bandage still stark even against the customer's pale complexion.

The food made her stomach nearly recoil though she tried to force it to calm. How could she eat when she had no idea what to do at all about anything? She didn't know where to go or what to do or what to think. But her hand against her stomach reminded her of one truth she was sure of.

This baby was neither a blessing or a punishment. This baby was Andrew's and a physical sign of their love for each other. No, she had never in a million years ever thought that as an angel she would be able to conceive but for some reason, she had and no matter what message was being conveyed to her, it was not the baby's fault.

"Thank you. I am a wee bit hungry." She looked at the name tag on the waitresses uniform, "You're very kind, Allie."

"I don't know about that, but I have been around long enough to know when someone is struggling out there in the world and you seem to be doing just that, honey." Allie glanced around the café and not seeing anyone who needed her immediate attention, she surprised Monica by sitting down at the table across from her, "So, you just passing through or do you live around here?"

Monica gave a tiny shrug in response, "I don't live here but I'm not so sure I'm just passing through either. I need to um…find a place to be for awhile, until I figure a few things out."

"I didn't see you drive up."

"No, I don't have a car…or anything really." Her momentary spiritual uplift at the thought of the baby belonging to Andrew faded and the sadness once again settled over her as she was reminded of how bleak her existence was right now. The bite of chicken salad she had taken suddenly tasted like sandpaper in her mouth.

"So, no car. No job." She paused as Monica gave a small shake of her head. There was a story behind this one, of that Allie was certain, "No place to stay, I take it?" Her heart ached as she watched the young woman fight tears as she again shook her head, "What's your name, sugar?"

"Monica," She had finally managed to swallow the bite of sandwich and was wondering how she would ever be able to take another one. How had everything become so hopeless?

Allie appeared lost in thought for a moment as she surveyed Monica. The girl was exhausted; dark circles stood out against her paleness and seemed to make them all the more prominent and there was a deep sadness in those doe-like brown eyes. This one had been hurt, beaten down by the world or by someone.

"Okay, listen, Monica, I have an offer for you and this ain't something I generally do, but something about you resonates in me. I need a dish washer here at the café. The hours stink and the work is dirty and not much fun and I can't pay you much, but it would still be something for in your pocket. I also have an apartment over my garage that my girl was using before she left that is still vacant. I would consider the board part of your pay. Now it ain't much but it's all I got and it seems to me that you don't have a lot of options right now."

The little angel's eyes had widened as Allie has spoken, hardly able to believe the offer that was being presented to her, "But…you don't even know me…" Those who had known her, known her heart had condemned her. How was it possible a complete stranger was offering her a wee bit of security for the time being?

"I know enough to know I feel like I can trust you and I know enough to know that you're in some kind of trouble and you don't have to tell me what that is. I'm not gonna force anything out of you, Monica. All I ask is that you do a good job. Now do we have deal or not?"

"Yes." She nodded her head, forgetting to flinch at the pain the action caused, "I don't know how to begin to thank you."

"Honey, I have had people help me out in the past, so I'm just paying it forward. Not too long ago, I had that same lost look in my eyes you got in yours now and a couple of angels helped lift me up so I could keep on keeping on. Sometimes that is all it takes," Allie rose to her feet and nodded her own head, signifying that the negotiations were over, "I get off work in half an hour and I'll take you to my place and let you into the apartment. You can start work in two days, but right now you need some rest. I'll get you a box for your lunch and you can take it with you." It was obvious Monica was too tired and overwhelmed to eat, and despite how much she looked as if she needed a good meal, Allie was not going to push her, "Sit tights and drink your tea and I'll collect you soon."

Monica closed her eyes as Allie left her alone and out of habit and a need within herself she whispered, "Thank you, Father. I don't know what you have planned for me or why, but thank you for the gift of a place to stay." She paused for a fraction of a second and added in a tearful whisper, "And bless Andrew, Father. I love him so much and I don't know if we are right or wrong but I'm starting to realize that when it comes to how I feel about him…it simply doesn't matter."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Though he had never experienced an angelic temper tantrum before, Andrew felt as if he were dangerously close. He had been searching everywhere he knew to search for Monica to no avail. He had searched out all of her favorite places in the world with no sign of her; he had been to the places she frequented when she was happy, where she said it felt as if all of creation was singing along with her soul. He had been to the places she retreated to when she was sad and her angelic heart was broken and seeking quiet and solitude. He had been to the ocean, where she always went when she was confused because she said the vastness of the sea put her perceived problems into perspective. It seemed the sweet little angel had a geographical location for every emotion she thought to feel, yet she was visiting none of them currently.

And he was beyond frustrated. He felt a sense of urgency to find her that he felt unable to explain, even to Rafael and Adam who were helping him to look in between their assignments and the deep concern in Rafael's eyes did little to comfort the Angel of Death.

He knew he only had one option left and it was a slim one at best. No hospital was going to be willing or even able to release information on a patient, but it was the only shot he had to find out anything. Maybe Monica had given some clue as to where she might have been headed as Andrew could simply not imagine her walking off an assignment, no matter what might be happening around her. Her heart always went out to the humans she was assigned to help and to just walk away and leave one who was in trouble was completely out of character for her.

"It doesn't make sense, Rafael," He lamented as the twosome walked into Mercy General Hospital, "Nothing about this is anything like Monica."

"Monica was nothing like Monica the last I saw her, amigo," His companion replied, "Remember, I saw her before you two were reunited and yes, she was sad, but a few days ago, it was much worse. Her human form looked…unhealthy. She had lost weight, she looked exhausted. She wasn't herself, Andrew."

Andrew's jaw tensed as it tended to do when he was stressed out about something. Had their night together been a wrong decision? Had the amazing things they had shared only left the little angel feeling even more alone and hopeless given their situation? He had never wanted the most beautiful time of his existence to make things worse for her. He had to find her.

But as he had almost predicted, the hospital wouldn't tell them anymore than Tess already knew; mild concussion and that she had refused to stay despite their recommendation. But when questioned about her state of mind or any immediate danger she may have been in, the medical staff refused to answer; 'against privacy policy and they had probably already told them too much.'

"I can't believe this," Andrew murmured, running his hands through his short, blonde hair in frustration, "Why would she just leave like that? There has to be something we're missing."

Rafael sighed as he sat down across from his friend in the hospital cafeteria and pushed a Styrofoam cup of ginger ale his way, "Si. It certainly seems that way, Andrew."

The deep green eyes were tormented as he swirled the ice around in his cup, really not in the mood to drink anything or even to be sitting here. He wanted to be finding Monica, but he was out of places to look. It was almost as if…as if she didn't want to be found.

"Excuse me."

The two angels looked up into the face of a relatively young hospital volunteer; she couldn't be any more than sixteen or seventeen, and the expression on her face was relatively nervous.

"I didn't mean to snoop but I heard you asking about your friend, Monica?"

"Yes!" Andrew immediately lowered his voice, but he was suddenly so hopeful that he was about to hear something useful, "Yes, did you meet her? Do you know anything about where she might be?"

"I think I might," She smiled gratefully as Rafael pulled out a chair for her and motioned for her to sit, "I'm Rachel. I volunteer in the Emergency Room on the weekends as I'm in nursing school during the week. I know we aren't supposed to discuss patients, but I remember your friend; it's hard to forget that lovely accent of hers."

Andrew felt a pang of longing in his heart, thinking about how beautifully the little angel said his name, in a way that no one else could imitate. The sound of her saying it always caused his heart to beat a tiny bit faster. Though the word rolled off her tongue effortlessly, to Andrew it had completely endeared her to him the first time he had heard her say it.

"Si," Rafael spoke, clearly seeing that Andrew was lost in thought at the moment, "Monica is very special to us; to Andrew especially and he is very worried about her."

"Well, she hit her head pretty hard and wasn't conscious when she got here. Her attending physician had to run a few tests on her, but after she woke up and he spoke to her, she didn't have the routine MRI. She just wanted to leave and they couldn't stop her. She let them stitch up her head, but refused to stay the night for observation. Her doctor advised her against sleeping for a day if she was insistent upon leaving."

"How bad was it?" Andrew asked worriedly, barely able to stand the thought of her being out there some place hurt and tired.

"It took a few stitches and I'd imagine a few hours later, she had a pretty good bruise. I also heard the doctor say something about her being underweight and she looked pretty peaked, but she was coherent when she left and I actually walked her out because I was trying to talk her out of leaving."

"Did she say anything else? About where she might be going?" The Angel of Death was desperate now. She was hurt and maybe even sick; he had to find her.

"That's the thing. I asked her if she wanted me to call her a cab or walk her home and she said she didn't know where she was going, only that she needed to go pretty far away. Said she couldn't stay here because people would find out the truth. When I asked her what she meant, she just asked me where I was from and was it near here. I told her no, that I was from a little town in West Virginia called Hambleton. Very small town, not much there." Rachel smiled, though her eyes flashed briefly with nostalgia before she continued, "She hugged me then and thanked me for being nice to her. She told me she knew it was my job, but it was nice just the same."

The two angels exchanged a worried glance and Andrew was fairly sure he could add "depression" to his growing list of concerns about his soul mate, "Rachel, thank you. You've been more help than you probably know."

"I hope so. They could fire me for telling you so if you would do me a favor and…"

"No diga no más. Your secret is safe with us, mi amiga,"

"Thanks," Rachel rose to her feet but before she left, she met her eyes squarely with Andrew's, "I hope you find Monica. I can tell you must love her very much and I don't know why you weren't with her when she was brought in, but I have a feeling you had a good reason, or you wouldn't be so desperate to find her."

Once Rachel had departed, Rafael sighed, "I have an assignment, Andrew. I have to go…and so do you."

Their eyes met as the word escaped their lips in unison.

"Hambleton."

****

"Allie, are you sure about this?" Monica looked around her new surroundings, somehow feeling guilty about taking advantage of this human's generosity. The little apartment was simple but nicely furnished with a small kitchen, living room, bedroom and bath. Allie had just dug clean sheets out of the linen closet and the angel was praying her head would stop spinning long enough for her to help Allie make the bed.

"Why on earth would I not be sure? No one else is using it, I live here all alone and a little company from time to time would be nice," Unfolding the fitted sheet, she paused and looked at her new guest, "I guess I should ask you one question, Monica. You're not in trouble with the law, are you? I can't be harboring anyone from "America's Most Wanted", you know." She winked, sure that was not the case.

"Oh no," Monica blushed profusely, "I… I haven't done anything wrong. I haven't hurt anyone or taken anything or…" Her own words caused a lump of emotion to form in her throat; she had done nothing wrong but yet she and Andrew had been tried and convicted without even being given a chance to present their case.

Allie was quick to see the tears welling up in Monica's eyes and she patted her on the shoulder, "There, there, honey. Why is it those we love the most can hurt us the greatest, huh?"

"How…how did you know?" Forcing her exhausted legs to move, Monica gathered the other half of the sheet and began to tuck it neatly around the mattress.

"Just a hunch. When we girls are hurt by someone we love, we tend to wear it on our sleeves," She surveyed Monica silently for a moment, "Did he physically abuse you, Monica?"

Startled, her hand moved to the bandage on her head, "No! This was an accident. I…I fell and hit my head is all. He would never…he isn't the one who hurt me." This was so complicated and she was so tired. Her stomach and her head were both churning and the tears were so dangerously close to the surface, Monica wasn't sure she would be able to contain them much longer.

"Yet he's not here." Allie remarked softly as she helped Monica tuck in the top sheet before they laid the blanket and down comforter on the bed overtop.

"No," The weary little angel whispered, "But that isn't his fault."

" Oh darlin', I'm sorry. Don't let me ramble on like that and know I don't mean anything by it. I'm a mother and have seen my share of young love gone wrong," She sighed, shaking her head as she wondered what it was about this young woman that made her feel a need to take care of her, "Now, your bed is all ready for you and you look more than ready for it. I put your sandwich in the fridge and in the morning, I'll bring you up a few more things for you to eat until you get paid and can pick up some groceries. My daughter left some clothes in the closet that you can help yourself to, though you may be a little smaller than she is, but better than nothing. Now, is there anything else you need right now?"

"No, thank you," Monica managed a small smile, "and thank you again, for everything."

"No need to thank me, honey. You get some rest now."

Finally alone, the little angel didn't even bother to change clothes before snuggling down beneath the blankets and comforter. She felt positively wretched and shivered despite the warm blankets and even though she simply wanted to close her eyes and drift off into oblivion, her pillow was still damp with her tears before sleep finally came.

****

She only awoke once during the night and that was to eat the sandwich she had brought home from the café and it was that same sandwich in reverse that woke her up far too early in the morning. Her stomach seemed to want to revolt anytime she tried to eat and though she knew it had to do with the baby, she had no idea what to do about it.

She still wasn't feeling any better two days later when she started working in the hot kitchen, using the industrial dishwasher and trying not to burn her hands when the hot dishes came out the other side. But despite how horrid she felt, Monica worked as hard as she could, knowing she needed the job and the place to stay and not wanting to let Allie down in any way. Besides, she truly liked the woman and Leroy, the cook, as well as the edgy Misha, the teenager with a few face piercings who helped waitress. The girl came across as tough as nails, but once Monica had been able to scratch the surface of Misha's hard exterior, she had discovered a beautiful smile and a lovely soul, who had simply been hurt by those who were supposed to love her. The angel felt as if the little diner was filled with kindred spirits, and despite the sadness buried within her own heart, Monica was glad to be among them, given her circumstances.

But she still told no one about the baby she carried inside of her. If she couldn't tell Andrew, she didn't feel right telling anyone else and she was so hopelessly confused about the pregnancy that she didn't see how she could possibly answer any questions about it. She didn't have the money or the insurance to see a doctor, so she simply had to trust she would be okay. She tried not to think about Andrew, but it was nearly impossible. Every time his face crossed her mind's eye, she wanted to burst into tears. She was desperate to feel his arms around her, reassuring her it would all be okay and that he would take care of her. Andrew had always been a beacon of hope for her, a calming presence in the face of any storm she was weathering and right now the storm was beating down on her so violently she at times felt as if she could barely breathe.

"Honey, have you had a break yet?" Allie's voice invaded her thoughts and startled her enough that she forgot to be quick at removing the latest stack of hot plates and she gasped as her already blistered fingers caught a burn once more.

"N-No," Monica shook the sting out of her fingers as she turned her to her employer, "But it's all right. I'm not really hungry." It wasn't entirely the truth. The truth was more that her stomach was very much rejecting food and barely tolerating water on a good day.

"Girl, you get any skinnier and you gonna disappear," Leroy, the older African American cook remarked as he looked over at her in between flipping eggs on the grill. The diner offered breakfast at all hours and even though it was nearly eleven 'o clock and closing time, the bar crowd had just wandered in a little while ago, hungry and looking to sober up before going home.

"I'm fine, Leroy, really," she assured him, grabbing a clean towel to protect her hands against the remaining hot dishes. She had been here since noon and was longing to go home and sleep, so taking a break and getting behind on dishes was not an option for her right now anyway.

Allie sighed as she collected the meals from under the warming lamp for her tables. Monica had made little improvement since Allie had first met her. She still looked weary and still ate like a little bird and there were times the girl went so pale, Allie was afraid she was going to pass out, yet Monica offered her no further information about where she had come from and why.

"Well, then I want you out of here at eleven, you hear me? You've been here almost eleven hours with no break, so you've more than done your time for the day."

Monica blinked as if what Allie was saying made no sense, "But there will be more dishes after this last crowd leaves…"

"Yes and Misha didn't come in till five and she can finish up. Five minutes and you are on your way home."

And five minutes later, she was.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Allie had pressed a foil wrapped sandwich into Monica's hands before she had left the diner, and now the little angel held the warm gift in her chilled yet sore hands as she walked briskly in the direction of Allie's home. This was the part she hated most; walking home alone this late at night. She preferred to wait until Allie was ready to leave and then they would walk home together, yet the little town was usually pretty quiet other than the bar crowd and so far they had been harmless.

Walking as quickly as she could manage, her thoughts again strayed to the mess her existence currently seemed to be. Yes, there were dozens of things to be grateful for each day, and Monica made it a point to be aware of each little gift and to thank the Father for them. Yet she was estranged from everyone she knew and loved, her human form seemed to be revolting against her, she wasn't working though Andrew would probably argue that just getting Misha to smile was a completed assignment in its own rite and the bottom line was that she had never felt so afraid or unsure.

She was only about a block from Allie's home when the all too familiar wave of dizziness came over her, stopping her in her tracks.

"No, no. Not now," Her whispered words came out in little puffs of smoke due to the cold of the late night and she reached out to grab hold of a mailbox beside of her to try to steady herself as the sandwich slipped from her hands and fell to the ground.

And she would have been quick to follow it were it not for two strong hands catching her around the waist and stopping her from slumping to the pavement.

"Monica? Baby?"

Weary eyes looked up and tears instantly filled them, "Andrew…Oh Andrew…"

His heart was racing. Even in the dim street light, he could see she wasn't well. Rafael had been right, "Are you all right? Can you stand?"

"I…I just got a little dizzy…I've been at work…I…what are you doing here?" He was holding her up in his arms and the tears were falling from her eyes and suddenly none of her questions mattered as she buried her face against his chest and allowed hard, painful sobs to finally be released.

He crushed her to himself, holding her as tightly as he dared, one hand cradling the back of her head, the other around her waist, "I'm here, Angel. I'm here." He whispered, his own voice thick with emotion. He allowed her to cry for a few moments before he spoke again, "We need to get you out of this cold, Angel Girl. Where are you staying?"

"J..Just down the street," She managed to say, not wanting him to release her now that he was finally holding her.

"Can you walk, baby? Are you still dizzy?"

"I'm all right."

Supporting her with his arm around her waist, they walked slowly down the street and he could still hear the soft sobs escaping her. They had so much to talk about, but she was shivering and he needed to get her out of the elements, but he still took the time to kiss the top of her head as they walked, "I have missed you so much, my angel."

"Andrew…" her words were but a whisper that caught in a sob.

"I know, baby," He replied, giving her a squeeze as she indicated the house where she was staying. Monica rummaged for her key at the door but her hands were sore and trembling and Andrew tenderly took it from her and unlocked the door before ushering her inside.

Helping her out of her coat, which he noticed was a few sizes too big for her petite figure, Andrew then led her over to the sofa and eased her down. Grabbing a glass from the kitchen, he filled it with water and then sat down next to her.

Though thirsty, Monica only took a tentative sip, too afraid her stomach would not hold onto it and she wasn't ready to tell Andrew about the baby yet. He had only just gotten here and she needed to think, but she was oh so glad to see him.

Placing the glass on the table, she turned to face him and was taken back by the look of complete love in Andrew's eyes, and it caused fresh tears to fill her own.

His tender fingers stroked her bangs to the side so he could see the stitches on her forehead and the angry bruise that engulfed it. He drank in the dark circles beneath her teary dark eyes and swallowed hard against the swell of emotion he felt. She had been suffering and the thought of it nearly made him feel sick. Taking her hands into his, he looked down at her raw and blistered fingers, "Where have you been working, Angel?"

"A diner. Washing dishes…they're hot when they come off the washer."

Lifting them to his lips, he kissed them lovingly, gathering his thoughts to try to decide what to ask her next. He knew her so well and he could tell she had been and was still feeling extremely overwhelmed, "Rafael told me things weren't going well with Tess."

"No," Monica whispered brokenly, "And they were about to get worse."

"Monica…"

"Not yet," She pleaded, knowing he was going to ask her what she meant but she needed more time. The facts had shocked her and Andrew had not so much as a suspicion. Shouldn't the moment be special? She felt too sick to enjoy it if it was supposed to be that way.

Her words alarmed him, but he drew in a deep breath and reached up with his hands to smooth over her somewhat tangled auburn hair, "Okay. Then what happened tonight? You almost collapsed, Angel."

The feel of his touch made her just want to cry; she had so been longing to feel it for months, "I…I had just worked a really long shift…" She felt him rest his hands on both sides of her head and she closed her eyes, "I can't believe you're here."

Unable to help himself, Andrew touched his lips to hers, savoring the sweet feeling he had only experienced in his mind for weeks, "And I'm not going anywhere. You have my word." The tears that slipped from her eyes fell into his fingers, "You were dizzy before tonight, baby. You were in the hospital on your last assignment."

"Yes. I haven't been feeling very well. Not for awhile."

"You need to eat something. You've lost weight," He rose to his feet and opened the refrigerator, shocked to find it nearly empty, "Monica…there's no food here. Your human form needs to eat."

"I dropped my sandwich right before you found me. I forgot to pick it up…" Her eyes pleaded with him, "Andrew, you're too far away…please…"

His heart ached in response to her words as he closed the door and quickly walked back to her, "I'm right here, Angel," He soothed as he wrapped his arms around her, hearing the tiny sob of relief that escaped her as he did so. He needed to go buy some food and she needed to sleep. He didn't want to stop holding her, "Are there things you aren't telling me, Monica?"

She closed her eyes tightly and gripped at him more desperately, "Yes. Andrew, I'm just so afraid…"

The Angel of Death pulled away enough to look into her eyes once more as his hands cupped her face, "You never have to be afraid to tell me anything. You know that. You've always known that."

Liquid brown eyes looked at him as her chin quivered slightly. Her words were frightened and forced, "I don't know how to tell you…"

"Baby, you're scaring me. I want to help you but-."

"I'm pregnant."

Time seemed to stand still as confusion filled Andrew's green eyes. He searched her expression, but only saw her certainty…and her absolute terror, "Monica…are you sure…it shouldn't be possible…."

A tiny sob as she gazed upwards for a moment, as if searching for answers, "I…I had been feeling horrible for weeks. Sick, all the time and the dizziness…when I hit my head, they did a pregnancy test because I wasn't conscious and when I woke up…they told me and…and that's why I left…Eventually Tess would have known and I couldn't bear it, Andrew…things were already so bad…and I don't know why this happened…I don't know if the Father is blessing us…or punishing me…"

He couldn't bear to hear anymore as he pulled her tightly back into his arms. For over three months she had been left to deal with this alone. No more. He was finished following the demands of those who refused to listen to them or even try to understand how they felt, "It's going to be okay, Angel. I'm here and we'll figure this out together. I promise you."

For the first time in months, Monica felt her body relax as it melded against his. Her secret was out to the only one she had ever wanted to tell, and he was here and holding her and saying the words she had been longing to hear, "Thank you."

"Baby, you don't have to thank me," Andrew pulled away to look into her eyes once more, "I believe I had a part in all this, if I recall," His wink caused a little laugh to escape her, and the sweet sound nearly took his breath away, "I love you so much, Monica. I have been so worried about you and I'm so sorry you have been going through all of this alone."

An exhausted smile crossed her lips, "but you're here now and that's the only thing that matters to me, Andrew. Nothing else."

Their lips met in a kiss that seemed to erase the months of separation they had endured; for those sweet moment, they were certain there was no one else in the universe but each other.


	9. Chapter 9

**I bet you all thought I had abandoned this, didn't you? Nah. I do get derailed, but I return to finish what I start even if it takes awhile. I have to give special thanks to Deyse for her gentle nagging and to 8 Inch Caliper for inspiring me. I already have the next chapter started, so be patient!**

Andrew awoke early the following morning and was content to just hold the sleeping angel in his arms as his fingers stroked through her auburn hair and his lips occasionally kissed the top of her head. Andrew still could not believe she had been handling all of this alone for so long and when he thought about it, it made him angry at those who had enforced their separation. Monica had been going through hell over this; sick and afraid and he could have been there from the beginning if only others would stop judging them.

A baby. It hardly seemed possible but yet it was so, and despite how out of place it felt, the thought brought great joy to his heart. A little angel; a smaller version of the beautiful angel who had captured his heart so long ago. He was already hoping the baby was a girl, with cocoa colored eyes and sweet dimples when she smiled.

Gazing down again, he watched her pale face in sleep. He needed to get her something to eat and maybe to a doctor. Surely there had to be a free clinic nearby. She was pregnant and he could tell from holding her all night that she had lost weight and that shouldn't be the case; it was a testimony to how ill she had been for the duration of her pregnancy thus far. But for now, her sweet face was peaceful and he was content just to hold her close and love her in perfect silence. He remained that way for close to two hours before Monica finally opened her eyes.

"Tell me I'm not dreaming." She whispered after a moment.

"Definitely not dreaming," He replied softly as he kissed the top of her head once more, "How did you sleep, Angel?"

"Better than I have in a really long time," Monica snuggled closer to him, listening to the soothing sound of his heart beating beneath her ear. She could feel his hand in her hair and his other hand wrapped around her mid-section and it caused tears to prick the backs of her eyes, "Have I mentioned how wonderful it is to have you here?"

"I think I got that impression one or two times," He teased, before his voice turned serious once more, "But I'm the one who is blessed, Monica, to be back in your presence. You're all I could think about the last several months; finding a way back to you."

She sniffled, not surprised to feel tears trickling down her face as they fell into comfortable silence for a few moments. She was loathe to ask the question, too afraid of the answer; yet she was too afraid not to ask it. She had to know what they were dealing with, "What happens now? How long can you stay? Will Sam be coming for you soon? What about Tess?" Her one question turned into a flurry of frightened inquiries and Andrew was not surprised to feel her begin to tremble.

"Hey, hey," Shifting his weight so he could look into her face, his expression became pained at the sight of her tears, "I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

"But how can you not? We're angels, we just can't-."

Andrew laid his fingertips against her lips, silencing her worries, "I promise you. I'm not leaving you. Okay?" He watched as she slowly nodded her head, yet he could still see deep concern in her dark eyes, "What is it, Angel?"

Monica searched his eyes, looking for something and feeling foolish for needing to hear what she was sure she already knew. Reaching up to take his hand from her face, she drew it down to lay it against her flat stomach. Swallowing hard, a tremble went through her once more, "You never told me…how you feel about this…about the baby. I don't know if you're…happy or…sorry…"

"What? Monica!" His expression was incredulous.

"No, listen to me," The tears were back and she hated them. She wished she had more control over them, but they seemed to be controlling her of late, "I don't always know how to feel about it. I love him or her, I do, but I still don't understand why and that is why I don't know how to feel, and I've had a little bit of time to get used to the idea, which is more than you've had. But I don't want you feeling obligated-."

He was sitting up so fast he startled her and she scrambled to sit up as well, her heart pounding so loudly she was certain he could hear it, "Andrew?"

Turning to her, he grabbed her face in his hands, his eyes so intense she had to look away briefly, "Now you listen to me. Anything that comes from you, from our love for each other, is a gift and nothing less. A precious, precious gift. Were we expecting it? No, of course not, but that doesn't make it anything less than a miracle," He moved his hand to lay it once again against her stomach, "This little one is a part of you, baby, and for that reason alone I would lay down my existence for this little angel. I love this baby and I love you, more than words could ever say. Monica, I think I've loved you since the first moment I met you and it's only grown every moment since that one and I am not sorry for any part of that love. Do you understand me?"

She was sobbing openly and she flung herself into his arms and held on tightly, "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to doubt you. I've just been trying so hard to understand this and there are times I think this baby is a blessing and there are times when I think I'm being punished."

"Angel, why would you think you are being punished?" Andrew asked softly, as his hand rubbed her back soothingly.

"Because….because I've been so sick since getting pregnant," She finally confessed the last of her secrets to him and felt a shuddering sigh of relief go through her, "I can't keep much down; either food or water."

His protective instincts went on high alert at those words as he pulled away to look into her face, now understanding her weight loss and peaked features, "Okay, well, we're not letting another day go by without some answers on why that is and what we can do about it. It certainly isn't good for either you or the baby. Now, when are you supposed to work again?"

"Tonight," Monica sighed softly. She loved the people she was working with and she was certain that under normal circumstances she would be enjoying herself immensely, but she had been feeling so poorly, she spent most of her time in the diner only wishing to go back to sleep.

"And your boss, Allie?"

"This is her house. She lives in the big house next to us."

"Okay," Getting out of bed, Andrew threw on his jeans and t-shirt, "Why don't you, my beautiful angel, go and soak in a warm bath while I go take care of a few things?"

Her dark eyes took on a trace of distress, "Andrew? Where--."

Quickly approaching the bed, he cupped her face in his hands and brushed his lips to hers, "Stop worrying. Let me take care of things for awhile, baby. You've been doing things on your own for awhile now, so please, allow me to carry the load for now."

Andrew's emerald eyes were hopeful and she was unable to suppress a tiny, tired smile, "I think I'd be foolish to deny you that," She rested her hand against his strong jaw, "Thank you."

"Angel, taking care of you does not require any thanks. It is a complete pleasure."

*****

Having already found a small market a few blocks away, Andrew carried the three plastic bags of groceries up to the farm house where Allie resided. He was hoping this would not be awkward.

Allie actually answered the door before he had a chance to knock, her blue eyes suspicious, "Can I help you?"

Andrew cleared his throat and smiled, "Hi Allie. My name is Andrew. I'm…I'm a…friend of Monica's. I was hoping we could talk for a few minutes."

She seemed to sum him up in a glance; this was the man who had somehow, for some reason, left the young woman who had been living with her the last two weeks. He was the one who probably had placed the sadness in those cocoa colored eyes and her gut instinct was to toss him to the curb and tell him to leave Monica the hell alone. Yet, there was a sincerity in his emerald eyes that gave her pause and made her second guess herself. She had nothing to lose by hearing him out, though she was still a bit begrudging as she let him into her kitchen.

"So what is your relationship with Monica?" She had never been one to mince words and she wasn't about to start now.

Andrew actually had to suppress a grin. Seemed that no matter where Monica was or who she met, she inspired a protective instinct in everyone she came into contact with, "Well, I guess that can best be summed up by being the one who loves her the most." He left it at that, as he had a feeling Allie was sizing him up and he had no idea where he stood.

"For the one who loves her the most you certainly have been around the least," She surmised with a pointed look.

"Yes," He agreed slowly, "I'm sure it seems that way…was that way, but it wasn't because I wanted to be away from her, Allie. I couldn't find her; she didn't tell me where she was going because she was afraid of…" He ran a hand through his hair nervously, trying to think of the best way to explain the situation. He knew that Allie didn't necessarily need to know everything but she had, in many ways, been taking care of Monica and for that he was eternally grateful, "May I sit?" He waited until she nodded her head and then he set the groceries on the floor by his chair and sat down at the kitchen table. Folding his hands together, he drew in a deep breath, said a silent prayer for guidance and then told the story as truthfully as he could.

"Allie, Monica and I fell in love despite the fact that some people in our lives are against it and that caused a lot of problems for us. People did all they could to keep us apart and at times succeeded. But we continued to fight against it and tried to find moments to be together. There is nothing I would not do for her, Allie. She is my entire world and when they tried to keep us apart, it was like my world was falling apart. We were desperate to be together…and that desperation led to some things that maybe should not have happened." Seeing the questioning look in her eyes, Andrew hoped for the best, "Monica is pregnant. I only found out last night, but that was why she left…she didn't want anyone to find out, so she left and she didn't know where I was at the time, which was never my choice. I wanted to stay beside her, but just couldn't."

Allie frowned. A part of her heart could sense his honesty, but she still felt as if something were missing, "You and Monica are both adults. How on earth did people keep you apart?"

He felt cornered; unsure of what to say. Telling her they were angels was the truth but not the answer, "It's complicated, Allie and though I can't go into great detail, let's just say there are people who have the power to do it." Seeing a hint of understanding in her eyes, Andrew continued, "I want to do right by Monica and not because I have to, but because of how much I love her. She hasn't been well since finding out she was pregnant and I need to know if there is a free clinic nearby….and I have a proposition for you."

*****

Andrew let himself back into the little apartment Monica had been staying in and his expression instantly softened. His beloved angel had never made it to a warm bath and instead was curled up in bed, fast asleep. But what struck him so deeply was the look of peace that was etched on her beautiful face; a peace that had not been there for some time and he felt his heart swell with gratefulness at the fact that him being here, taking care of her could allow for such contentedness.

Moving to the tiny kitchen, he unpacked his grocery bags and quietly put away the majority of the items. He then poured some milk into a pan to heat it, before adding Quick Oats to it. He was hoping that oatmeal with banana might be bland enough for Monica to keep down, but whether it was or wasn't, he would be taking her to the clinic in a few hours. He was taking no chances with her health or that of the baby. He had no idea what the future held for either one of them, but he knew that this was his most important assignment.

Carrying the bowl to bed, he set it down on the nightstand and knelt beside the bed, content to watch her sleep for a few more moments, before he reached over to smooth the dark hair back from her face, "How did I ever get so blessed, huh Angel?" He whispered, his thumb tenderly rubbing her temple.

Sleepy, chocolate brown eyes slowly opened and a meek but sweet smile crossed her face, "I'm still not dreaming. You're really here. I suppose that means that dreams really do come true."

Andrew had to rapidly blink moisture from his eyes at her semi-groggy words before he could answer her, "Of course they do, Angel, because my greatest dream has always been you."

"I love you so much," Monica whispered, closing her eyes once more at the soothing feeling of his fingers in her hair.

"And I, you." Leaning in, he brushed his lips with hers, "Now, I have cooked you some breakfast, so why don't you sit up here and eat?" He moved to help her sit up, noting the worried expression on her face.

"Andrew, I don't think I can-."

"Baby, I need you to try, but we are also making a visit to a clinic today so we can get to the bottom of why you have been so sick.. We'll go as soon as you are ready."

Tentatively, she took a spoonful of oatmeal and allowed the warm cereal and sweet banana to seemingly melt in her mouth. Maybe it was because it had not come from a greasy diner, or maybe it was because Andrew had made it with great love, but it was delicious and nearly as delightful as Andrew's pleased expression. She finished most of it, unable to help herself; she had eaten so little lately as not long afterwards she would feel terrible, but everything felt possible with Andrew beside of her.

*****

"I'm so sorry, Andrew," Monica murmured after she had lost breakfast over the toilet as he had held back her hair and rubbed her back. Her face was no longer pale, but red with embarrassment, as she laid her toothbrush back down on the counter.

"Hey," He laid firm yet gentle hands on her small shoulders, "You have nothing to apologize for and today we are getting to the bottom of this. You can't go on this way," He wasn't letting on just how worried he was; she was frightened enough and he shook his head, thinking of how she had been handling this alone for weeks. Sick human forms were not totally normal to angels, though Monica's system had always been especially delicate, but now it was undergoing major change and it seemed to not be too happy with those changes.

Blinking back tears, she smiled at him, "Have I told you how good it is to have you here?"

"You don't have to; I know what it is I am feeling, Angel. Whole, for the first time in such a long while and I don't plan on ever giving that up again."

She wanted to question how that could ever be possible but for now, instead chose to just believe it could be so. She only wished he could calm her fears, "Do you think we were wrong?" The words were a hushed whisper and were followed by the endearing, nervous biting of her lower lip.

Andrew's eyes drank in her quiet beauty, knowing his thirst for looking at her would never be quenched for as long as he existed. His hands moved from her shoulders to run down her arms, fingertips lightly tracing over her pale skin, before his fingers went back to her face, tenderly touching her and watching as her chocolate brown eyes closed as she drew in a trembling breath. Intense, green eyes flitted over every delicate feature of her face as his fingers gently touched her cheeks and traced her eyebrows, before cupping her face in his strong hands.

His kiss took her breath away as he captured her lips with his own, before delving deeper to taste her sweet mouth. A small whimper escaped her, of love and longing and she unconsciously pressed her slight body tighter up against him, feeling the strength of his beautiful male form even as she trembled.

The small eternity didn't last long enough, before Andrew pulled away but only to a hair's breadth from her lips, "Angel, did that feel wrong to you?"

Monica exhaled sharply and shook her head slightly, "No…no. It was…as normal as breathing. Andrew…the things you make me feel…"

"I feel them all too, Monica, which is why I believe with all my heart that this love we feel…that the Father is somehow at the root of it and that this," His hand rested against her abdomen, "Is a beautiful blessing."

"When you say it, I believe it."

"You should. I believe it is the truth; the only truth that makes any sense."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The doctor's expression was grave as she finished Monica's examination, but seeing the worried looks in the young couple's eyes, she smiled, "Okay, so far your baby seems to be fine, but I can't say the same for her momma."

Andrew's grip tightened on the little angel's hand. Though Monica's expression had turned more peaceful with the news of the baby's health, his anxiety was through the roof at the mere thought of anything being seriously wrong with Monica, "What's the matter with her? What do we need to do?"

"Hyperemesis gravidarum," Dr. Matthew's explained as she took a seat on the stool across from her patient, who was now sitting up on the table, "Basically, it is a severe form of morning sickness that affects a very small percentage of women. Though the cause of the disorder is not completely clear, it could simply be elevated hormone levels and left untreated, it can be quite serious…to both mother and baby."

Monica shot a frightened glance at Andrew as her free hand rested protectively against her belly, "But the baby is all right?"

"For now and we want to make sure it stays that way. You are severely dehydrated, Monica, simply due to your inability to keep much down. I would like to admit you to County General for the night to get some IV fluids into you. Then we will try an oral medication that will hopefully help settle your stomach. If it works, you will have to stay on it for the duration of your pregnancy."

Though trying to take it all in, Monica's mind had stopped on the name of the hospital, "You…you have to admit me?"

"Just for the night hopefully, for fluids and rest. Your exhaustion is a part of the condition, so resting whenever you can and feel the urge to do so is important,"

Dr. Matthews rose to her feet with a reassuring smile, "Monica, you can get dressed and I'll be back with your paperwork for admittance to County."

As the doctor left the room, Monica's frantic eyes found Andrew's, "Andrew! The hospital? We can't…we don't…"

"Monica, Monica, shhh. It's okay," Opening his wallet, he pulled out an insurance card and winked, despite the concern on his face, "I found it this morning when I was paying for the groceries. It's fine, Angel. He's taking care of us."

Barely able to comprehend it after all of Tess' harsh words, her troubled mind moved to the next problem, "But I have to work tonight. Allie-."

"Hey, hey," Rising from his chair, Andrew rested his hands on either side of her neck, "I've already taken care of that too, okay? Angel, I don't want you focusing on anything more than feeling better right now, all right? Stop worrying about everything else; I have it. I promise. You aren't alone in this anymore."

Emotion lodged in her throat and threatened to choke her, "The hospital…."

"And I'll be right there with you," He understood her so well; she hated all things medical from a patient's perspective. His hand held her cheek, "I owe you an apology."

Her brow furrowed and she shook her head, "An apology? Andrew, you haven't done anything…you've been wonderful!"

"I let Sam and Tess dictate what they thought I should be doing. I should have fought them on it. I never should have allowed them to keep me away from you and that was my fault. I love you and I should have been there. I'm sorry, Angel. I should have been there."

Her smaller hand reached up to cover his, "You're here now and that's what matters."

"Maybe so, but it will take me awhile to forgive myself. You've been sick and I haven't been here," Andrew didn't finish the rest of his thought. The thoughts that said had he not found her, had not gotten her help…he could hardly fathom what could have happened to her and the baby. They were angels and this was unfamiliar territory, and her fatigue from the illness and the pregnancy itself had kept her from thinking straight about what she should be doing to take care of herself.

"I don't want you to feel that way." The little angel frowned as she looked up at him with great concern. It nearly made him chuckle.

"Well, I can make up for it now," He replied easily, putting his own guilt aside in order to erase the worry on her face, "C'mon and get dressed. I'll help you." Her exhaustion was still so evident and he was looking forward to some IV protein putting some color back into her cheeks. She even swayed slightly as he helped her down from the table and he said a silent prayer that the medication they would try with her would allow her feel more like herself sooner rather than later.

By the next afternoon, things were quite improved much to Andrew's relief. The night in the hospital had Monica looking more like herself; her face was not nearly as drawn and the dark circles beneath her eyes were not as prominent. She even managed to keep down some soup once they arrived home at the little apartment under his watchful eyes.

"It was very nice of Allie to give me last night off work," Monica leaned back on the sofa, feeling a wave of happiness at the feeling of his arms instantly wrapping around her, "but I'm sure she will need me tonight."

"Well, she can't have you," Andrew replied evenly, "A hot kitchen is no place for you to be in your condition, Angel."

Turning in his embrace to look up at him, her dark eyes flashed with a combination of worry and complete stubbornness, "Andrew, it's my job. She's letting me…letting US stay here…"

"It's not your job anymore," His voice and expression were perfectly calm, but seeing her eyes narrow in challenge, he grinned, "It's my job now, Monica. Allie and I had a long talk yesterday and I will be the dish washer at the diner; not you," His finger traced along her jaw, "I want you taking care of yourself and our baby."

If he had expected her to be thrilled at this arrangement with Allie, he was sorely disappointed when he saw distress in her dark eyes instead, "Monica?"

"So, I'll stay here?" She asked slowly.

"You need to be resting, Angel. This pregnancy is a difficult one and we have to be careful. I don't want anything to jeopardize you or the baby." She looked away, fighting tears and Andrew's heart lurched at the suddenly ashen tone of her skin, "Monica?"

She looked up into his eyes and struggled to keep the tremor from her voice, "How will I know? How will I know if Sam comes to take you away again? When you don't come home? I don't think I can stand it, Andrew…sitting here all evening worrying if you're coming back…"

"Oh Angel," He had never considered it from her point of view; had not considered her greatest fears.

She drew in a deep breath and then let it out slowly, "I would never be presumptuous enough to think that this…you and me…that this is going to last. That they are going to let it last. I know that you believe the Father is providing for us and it seems He is, but Tess and Sam? If they find us, they won't allow us to stay this way and it doesn't matter how much you want to stay with me; you can't deny your true nature…our true nature." Her fingers reached up to comb through his blonde locks, "But if they come for you, I want to be there to be heard too. Even if we don't win the argument, I have to try to make them listen. My form is completely human right now…this baby is a human condition, but you…"

"But I…will be right beside you. I told you, Angel Girl, I am finished doing what they tell me to do."

"Andrew, you can't jeopardize your status as an angel because of me…" Monica was shaking her head, barely able to conceive what he was considering.

"Now wait a minute," He was frowning and his eyes were stern, "' because of you'? You're making this sound as if this whole thing is your fault. As if your angelic status matters less than mine and none of that is true."

"I instigated things that night," she replied softly, "I'm the one who is pregnant and human, unable to go back to my angelic status right now. You have options. You have a choice and you don't need to be in any more trouble because of…this mess. If they come for you, you need to go."

Though deep in his heart, Andrew knew she was trying to protect him, it also felt like it was a swift kick in the gut. Releasing her, he rose to his feet and ran a hand through his hair in frustration, "No. I don't."

Monica flinched at the chilly tone of his voice. She hadn't meant to upset him; she just wanted him to think clearly before he made any rash decisions, "Andrew, please, just listen…"

"No. I think you need to listen this time," He interrupted her as he paced through the small apartment, "You need to stop doubting me, Monica. Ever since I got here you have said a few things I just had trouble understanding: whether or not I was happy about the baby, now acting as if my status is more important than yours. Why would you think that your part in all this is not the greatest part of the plan? Has the Father not provided for you through all of this? Bringing Allie to you, a place to stay, leading me to you? Monica, if He hadn't wanted me to find you, if He had wanted to banish you, I wouldn't be here now. Don't you see that?" Looking at her, Andrew saw the great shame that filled her eyes as she lowered her head. Moving to her slowly, he knelt in front of her and with tender fingers, he lifted her chin, "An angel has never been with child, but YOU are, Angel. You have a new life growing within you as a result of our love. A mess? How can this baby be anything other than a precious gift? And I am every bit a part of this. I love you. Do you hear me? I love you and my place is by your side; if it weren't I wouldn't have been permitted to find you in the first place."

A teary smile crossed her lips, "I'm sorry. It's just…"

"It's just that you have been on your own with this for far too long, Monica, but that time is over. I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere. You have my word."

"I don't mean to doubt you…It's not even you I doubt." A quiet sigh and she looked into his eyes, "It's just all so overwhelming. The past eight months have felt surreal. Not being with you for most of it. I felt as if I were barely surviving. There was no one to even talk to about how I was feeling without you, other than Raphael and Adam once or twice. I shouldn't complain; I know you were going through the same things.

"Perhaps, but you are the one who most needs to voice her feelings," A tender smile crossed his face as he enveloped her into his arms, "Just one of your many charms."

"Do you have any idea how happy I am you are here with me?" Monica whispered as her head rested on his shoulder.

"I do because I am equally happy to be here. And I know you haven't been feeling well but I hope you can find some joy in this life growing inside of you; our little baby."

Suddenly in that moment, with his arms around her and her nausea temporarily subsided, a tentative smile burst across her face as she closed her eyes and held onto him more tightly, "Our little baby."


	11. Chapter 11

A knock at the door disrupted the tender moment between the angelic couple. Andrew pulled away gently and rose to his feet, "I've got it, baby. Stay put."

Leaning back onto the couch again, Monica sighed. She never wanted to think of herself as weak or needy but after the last few weeks with being so sick, it felt so wonderful to have Andrew taking charge and making the decisions. Her mind had felt so cloudy and confused and she had been unable to think clearly, but Andrew was always sure and for that she was so grateful.

"Allie," Andrew smiled as he opened the door and moved aside so she could enter.

"Allie?" Monica sat up and looked at her friend and boss, "Shouldn't you be at the diner? Is everything all right?"

"Honey, you tell me. I took a lunch break in order to come home to see how you were. Andrew told me they were admitting you overnight and I just needed to check on you." The older woman walked over to her friend and sat down next to her on the couch, "I dare say, you like a mite better!"

"I feel a bit better," Monica admitted with a weak smile, as she turned to head to watch Andrew approach them and she took his hand as he sat down on the arm of the couch next to her, "Andrew being here has helped more than I can say."

"Yes, I'd imagine it has," Allie replied, eyeing the young couple, "I had the pleasure of meeting your Andrew yesterday and it is fortunate the boy is a smooth talker because I was about ready to slam the door on him for leaving you all alone to begin with," Seeing Monica's shocked expression, Allie continued, "But apparently forces greater than yourselves were at work against the two of you." Reaching over she laid a hand on the little angel's knee, "But you should have told me you were pregnant, missy. Workin' in that hot kitchen for eleven or twelve hours at a time and as sick as you were!"

Monica felt Andrew gripping her hand tighter as he learned just how hard she had been pushing herself, "I'm sorry, Allie. I just..I needed the job so badly."

"Well, there will be no more of that. Your Andrew here is going to take over for you starting tonight, so that leaves you with the job of resting!"

With that being said, Monica shifted uncomfortably, her pleading eyes looking to Andrew before turning back to Allie, "Allie, I don't think I'll be able to stand just sitting here alone while Andrew works. I like to work; I've always worked. Don't you perhaps have something I could do? You don't even have to pay me any money as you are letting us stay here…"

"Angel…" Andrew sighed. He hated the thought of her working and restaurant work was hard labor. Yet he knew her deepest fears; the ones she wasn't voicing to Allie.

"Please. Andrew, I can't just sit here for over five months. You know me better than that." Her cocoa colored eyes pleaded with him.

Another sigh and he looked at Allie for help, because heaven knew he had trouble resisting her brown pools, "Allie, Monica's disorder is still going to cause her to battle nausea and exhaustion. I want her to take care of herself," He watched as Allie nodded and the little angel lowered her head in defeat, causing his heart to ache. She had been through so much in such a short time, "But…if there is something she can do during some of the hours I work that doesn't involve her being on her feet…" He suppressed a smile as she raised her head again, eyes lit up in hope.

"Well, let's see now…" the woman appeared deep in thought as Monica struggled to read her expression, "It would save me a great bit of time if someone took over the accounting books at the diner. I try to work on them between customers but it is difficult as the diner is so busy. Then there is the placing of orders…"

"I can do those things!" Her words came out in an excited rush.

"I figured as much. But here's the deal. Andrew's dishwashing pays the rent here plus some leftover as you and I worked out, Monica. But you will be drawing a proper paycheck and though I'm not rich by any means, accountants are paid decent money."

"Oh Allie, I couldn't…"

"Honey, listen to me. You two have a baby on the way and there are things you are gonna need. You two need the money and don't tell me you don't."

Monica looked up at Andrew and saw him watching her with a tender expression in his green eyes, causing her heart to beat just a little bit faster. How she loved him!

"That's very generous of you, Allie, "Andrew replied evenly as he squeezed Monica's hand.

"And when Monica gets tired, you take a break to walk her home. That's my only stipulation."

"Suits me perfectly," It brought great relief to his heart as his mind remembered two night ago when he had found her and caught her right before she had passed out on the sidewalk. No, his job as protector was being resumed and he took that job very seriously.

The days began to pass with an almost abnormal normalcy for the two angels. Together they walked to the diner and Andrew would assume his role in the hot kitchen, while Monica would set up a makeshift office at a booth in the dining room. Occasionally, she could get away with venturing into the kitchen for inventory but more often than not, Andrew would wait until business was slow and call out the numbers she needed. It both amused and touched her deeply; he was so protective and now a constant at her side.

She rarely stayed through Andrew's entire shift as the hours were long and she did tire more easily so when he sensed her exhaustion, he would take a break to walk her to their little apartment always careful to lock the door behind him when he left. He hated leaving her alone in those times but quickly discovered that in his absence she would often curl up in bed and sleep. For him, that was a silver lining.

She could now keep down more food than not, though sometimes her stomach would churn miserably after eating and she would have to bolt to the bathroom. When it happened at the diner, Misha was usually two steps behind her to make sure her sweet friend was all right. The young Leroy and Andrew had become good friends and the older man was constantly imparting relationship words of wisdom to the angel. Andrew always listened patiently though he had a sneaking suspicion he and Monica would never have too many of the problems of normal couples; no, their problems were much too big for human comprehension.

Allie insisted on giving them two days off a week; the same days for both of them and consecutive days, so Sundays and Mondays, the angels spent together. They shopped for groceries, watched an occasional movie and explored the little town on foot as long as Monica was feeling up to it. Those two days were by the far their favorite part of the week and they rarely wasted a moment of those precious hours.

The spring afternoon was warm but comfortable and the two angels had just come from a late church service. Though it felt somewhat odd after having spent time face to face with the Creator of the universe, to suddenly be worshipping Him unseen as humans, it was something both Andrew and Monica felt strongly about. The added bonus is that they were beginning to form relationships with the town residents, many of whom had immediately recognized them from the diner. It warmed Andrew's heart to watch some of the women from church make it a point to see how Monica was feeling now that she was finally started to show a little bit at just over four months pregnant. She was also finally embracing her pregnancy fully, and she would glow under their attention.

Walking hand in hand through the little town, Andrew turned gentle eyes to gaze down at her, "Feeling all right, Angel?"

"Perfect," She replied smiling up at him as she squeezed his hand.

"Do you feel like you could eat?" The sunshine was picking up the reddest part of her hair and her angelic aura seemed to have never left her.

"I think so." She could tell her answer pleased him as she was still slightly underweight for being four months pregnant. Eating at times was still a challenge but for the most part the medication was helping to keep her nausea in check.

Andrew led them to the little café which had become a favorite for them as they had outdoor seating and with the warm weather today, neither angel had any desire to be inside. They were soon seated and sipping glasses of iced water having just placed their orders.

Clearing his throat, Andrew reached across the table for her hand and laced his fingers through her own, "I want to talk to you about something."

Monica could instantly sense he was uncomfortable with whatever he was about to say and this instantly set her on edge, "Andrew…"

"Hey," His other hand reached across to caress her cheek, "It's nothing terrible, baby. Everything is fine."

Despite his words and gentle touch, she barely relaxed, "All right."

Dropping his hand from her face, he studied their intertwined fingers for a moment searching the right words, "I know that since we've been here…together…we've….made love a few times." He raised his eyes to her worried face, "I was wondering how you felt about that."

A flurry of emotions passed through her expression and none of them were comforting to the Angel of Death. He had upset her and that had never been his intention.

"I…we…" Tears were burning and she willed them back, "I don't understand. Don't you...want to…"

"Yes!" He was desperate to soothe her, seeing the tears shimmering in her dark eyes. Lowering his voice, he squeezed her hand, "Angel, those moments are so special to me, but I can't help feeling that….that maybe it isn't right." Seeing a tear slip down her cheek, he cursed himself silently for not doing a better job of explaining himself. Grabbing her other hand, he brought them both to his lips and kissed her knuckles, "I love you so much, Monica, so incredibly much. Now, I don't know if our first night together in the woods was right or wrong though regardless of which it was I know God blessed it with your pregnancy; I know that as sure as I am sitting here with you. Do you believe that?"

Not trusting herself to speak, Monica gave a sharp nod of her head.

"With that being said, I don't know if we should continue expressing our love that way. We aren't married and we've been so blessed in so many ways and a part of me wonders if we aren't…taking advantage of what we have been given."

Monica left out a breath she felt as if she had been holding in forever, "I agree with you. Being with you that way…Andrew, it is wonderful, but I've had the same thoughts. I don't want the Father displeased with us…if He has been truly pleased with us through this."

The doubt in her eyes touched his heart. Monica always strove to please the Father and he understood more than anyone how insecure she felt since they had confessed their feeling to one another. Andrew just wished he had the words to convince that things were not as bleak as she worried they were.

"I never told you how I found you, did I?"

His words almost startled her. Monica had been trying to resolve her feelings about their intimacy and now she felt as if she could barely keep up with the conversation, "No. No, I don't think you did."

"Raphael and I had found out about your accident," He watched as her hand instinctively went to the still somewhat tender scar on her forehead. The stitches had been removed several days ago, but the cut was still healing, "and we went to the hospital to see what information they would give us, which unfortunately, wasn't much. I had been so hopeful but when we left the emergency room I felt at a complete loss. Raphael convinced me to go to the cafeteria with him so we could decide what to do next. I was acting on my own, of course, afraid to ask the Father for help because I didn't think I could bear the answer being 'no'. As we sat there commiserating, a volunteer approached us. She had spoken to you that day."

"Rachel." Monica immediately pulled the name out of her angelic memory, "She was very sweet. She tried to convince me to let them admit me for the night but all I could think about was getting away before Tess found out I was pregnant."

"Yes. She told me you wouldn't stay. She also told me you asked where she was from and that was my clue of where to look. She put herself in jeopardy of being released of her duties by telling me everything she did. She overheard us asking about you and followed us to the cafeteria and then had the guts to approach us with information about you. Does any of that sound like coincidence, Angel?" He watched as she pressed her lips together tightly in an effort to keep tears in check and he drank in her simple beauty, "He wanted me with you, baby. I know that. Now you know it too."

"But…does He approve, Andrew? That's what I can't reconcile." Her doe-like eyes pleaded with him. Deep in her heart she knew he didn't have the answers, but she had always found Andrew to be so wise. He had always been her rock, the one who could help her see through the darkness and though he had certainly been a ray of light in her existence since he had found her, there was still a little darkness in her world right now.

Andrew turned her question over in his mind, so wanting the right words to bring her some peace. Reaching for her hand again, he pulled her up from her chair and into his lap. Her dark, expressive eyes were both serious and hopeful. She always looked to him to solve the dilemmas of her world and it made him feel like the most important creature on the planet…and also the most undeserving of such an important role in her existence.

"Sweet angel, do you know in your heart that the Father loves you?"

Her eyes widened slightly, "Of course. I know He does."

Andrew nodded his head in agreement, "And do you know in your heart that He loves me?"

"Oh Andrew, yes! Of course! How could He not?"

He blushed slightly and then laid a tender hand on the tiny bump that was their baby, "And what about our baby, Monica? Do you know that God loves him or her?"

"All life is a gift of God and it is always good," Monica replied with certainty. She may not know much right now, but that much she knew with every fiber of her being, "I know He loves this baby."

His fingers stroked her stomach, a lump of emotion lodging itself in his throat as he thought about the little angel she was carrying that belonged to both of them, and then his eyes moved to the sweet little angel who was the baby's mother, "And me? Do you know how much I love you?" His voice had dropped to a whisper and his emotions caused him to feel a sting of tears in the back of his green eyes.

"Yes. I do. And I love you every bit as much if not more." Her voice trembled slightly as she laid her hand over his that still rested against her stomach.

"Then baby, let that be enough. Maybe we don't need to know anymore than that right now, and honestly, isn't it all we need to know?"

A smile broke free as a tear trickled down her cheek. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she hugged him tightly, feeling the love and security that came when he enclosed her in his strong arms, "Yes. You are right, Andrew. Absolutely right."


	12. Chapter 12

_**Author's notes: I wanted to say a few things before the start of this chapter that I should have said before. First off, thank you to those of you who have hung with this story. I never mean to abandon them for as long as I do, but real life gets in the way and my real TBAA writing joy comes with writing with my beloved Brazilian sister, Deyse. With that being said, thank you for all the kind reviews you all give to us. I let Deyse handle the postings for our co-authored stories, but I appreciate all of you immensely.**_

_**I guess the other thing I should say as I started writing this story again after hearing of John's death. It about broke my heart in ways that I could barely understand. But I think in many ways, it has hit authors of TBAA fanfic incredibly hard, because of our writing of these characters, we feel as if we know them better than we really do. I have never cried over the death of the celebrity before until now. He was too young and too nice of a person (from everything I've read) to be called Home so soon. But God always has a plan and apparently his plan was for John to be with Him sooner rather than later. But my heart grieves with all of you, as well as his family and friends.**_

_**So, with that being said, onto the chapter, and again, thank you for your reviews and dedication to all my scribbling here on . It is a joy to write these angels and I am just so happy that there are still folks here after the show being off the air for so long, who still enjoy reading about them. Love to you all!**_

Chapter 12

Monica managed to eat dinner that night as well, which had Andrew looking quite pleased. That along with her onset of happiness after their conversation at lunch made the rest of their day one of the happiest since they had been brought back together.

At ten 'o clock that night, the little angel was lying on the couch with her head on Andrew's knee while he read aloud to her from "Anne of Green Gables". Monica had found it in their little apartment and had been curious about the much loved children's story. Despite how much she was enjoying the story of the wee orphaned girl who was taken in by her aunt, the soothing sound of Andrew's voice had her sleepy eyes struggling to stay open.

Finally, Andrew lowered the book and gazed down at his sleepy beloved angel, "That was the third yawn. I think it's time a certain angel went to bed."

A little smile flitted across her face as she opened her eyes, "Perhaps but I love listening to your voice, no matter what you are saying."

His heart swelled for what seemed like the hundredth time today and he again pondered the range of emotions she could inspire in him, "Well, you will have plenty of other nights to listen to me read to you, but for right now, you should be getting to bed."

She sighed, "Very well." Sitting up, she started to stand when Andrew rose and took her hand to gently help her to her feet, "You know I won't break, Andrew," Monica teased as he guided her over to the bed.

"Probably not, but one can't be too careful. You are precious to me, Monica and you are carrying precious cargo."

Turning around in his arms, she stood up on tiptoe to touch her lips to his, "I do love you so, Andrew."

"Angel, you have no idea. Now, into bed with you."

As she got into bed and he helped her adjust the covers, she watched as he walked over to his side, but instead of climbing in, he grabbed his pillow and the extra blanket that was folded across the foot of the bed. Immediately, she was sitting up once more, "Andrew?"

His green eyes met with hers, knowing exactly what it was she was asking. Sighing, he laid the pillow and blanket on the couch and walked back over to sit down next to her, "Monica, given what we talked about today, don't you think that being in the same bed might be…tempting?"

Worrying her lower lip for a moment, she looked at him with wide eyes, "Andrew, I…I don't want to be that far away from you at night. I sleep so well with your arms around me. I promise, I won't do anything-."

"Angel, Angel, no. It isn't you. It's me, baby. I just love you so much and just being near you…it makes me just want to show you any way I can how much I love you." Tenderly, he brushed a stray piece of her hair from her dark eyes.

"But, I know how much you love me. I do. And I understand what you are saying because I feel all those things too; things I never thought I was allowed to feel. But I need to feel you close to me…for so long we couldn't be near each other and I missed you so much…"

"Monica, you know I felt the same way, but I will just be on the couch…"

Tearfully, she shook her head, "I don't want you all the way over there. Maybe I am being ridiculous but I don't know if I can sleep without your arms around me…and I don't want to try!"

Sensing that her tears were close to the surface, he grabbed her up in his arms and held her close, "Okay…okay. Angel, it's all right. I'm so sorry. Please don't cry."

"I didn't think I would ever see you again." The words came out in a frightened whisper against his chest, "And I kept trying to tell myself that if that happened, I would be okay, but I didn't really believe it. Over the years, you have become so much a part of me, even before we realized how we felt about each other in its entirety and then to suddenly have that part of my heart; the part that belonged to you missing…it was like I couldn't breathe, Andrew. I couldn't' breathe!"

Andrew had known when he had found her that he was going to have some work cut out for him where she had been mentally. Their months of imposed separation alone had devastated her and him as well, but the little angel had always had a tender and gentle heart, so he had known that where their isolation had angered and frustrated him, it had shattered part of her soul. Add to that an angry and somewhat hostile work relationship with Tess and an unexpected, to say the least, pregnancy, and he could only imagine her torment.

But he was still seeing small glimpses of it now.

"But I'm here now and I didn't mean to upset you. I just…Angel, I just love you so much and I just…I don't want to do anything to jeopardize what we are; at least anymore than I have already." He held her to him, his hand working into her long, auburn tresses.

Pulling away enough to look up at him with great love and hope in her eyes, Monica replied steadily as she willed her emotions to calm, "I trust you. I have always trusted you more than anyone other than the Father. I need to be close to you. I need to feel your arms around me. I always need that but for so many months I missed that so and you have never done anything to hurt us."

Letting out a deep breath, Andrew squeezed her tightly, "You're right. I just know that what we have shared is so special and though I feel close to you every moment I am with you…"

"I know," She replied softly, her dark, expressive eyes translating to him a wealth of emotions, "but Andrew, we are so much more than that."

Her lips met his then in a kiss that spoke only of the purest and most unconditional love possible between two souls and when she fell asleep that night, Andrew's arms were wrapped around her and it was his heartbeat that lulled her into a deep and peaceful sleep.

Xxxxxxxxx

The peace lasted until morning.

Andrew was awakened abruptly by the little angel bolting from bed, hand pressed to her mouth and he was only two steps behind her. Though the nausea happened less often now, at times it still reared its ugly head, sending Monica racing for the bathroom.

He hated these moments. They were times when she was suffering and there was nothing he could do to help her other than to hold back her hair and rub her back in a soothing motion as she emptied the contents of last night's dinner into the toilet. The horrible retching eventually would give way to dry heaves as her stomach emptied but the nausea remained. This morning seemed especially violent and he was further distressed when there was a knock on the door in the midst of Monica's sickness. He didn't want to leave her long enough to see who it could possibly be at this early hour.

"Go…" Monica gasped, trying to catch her breath, "You know I'll be fine."

The fact that she was still doubled over contradicted her words, but he swore under his breath and hurried out of the bathroom to the door of the little apartment.

"Andrew." Allie walked in the door but then paused, seeing the concern in his green eyes and his disheveled blonde head, "Is everything okay?"

"Allie, yeah. Monica's just not feeling well this morning," His eyes darted to the closed bathroom door worriedly, "Are you all right?"

"Andrew, I know today is your day off, but honey, can you cook?"

A confused expression clouded his face, "Cook?"

"Leroy is in the hospital. His wife just called and we open in an hour and I'm just not sure of what to do. I hate to impose on you, but any chance you could fill in? Do you know how to cook?"

He felt torn. Monica's pregnancy disorder was something he was still coming to terms with. Fact was, it still scared him, "I can cook, Allie, but-"

The bathroom door opened and Monica stepped out, her fingers holding onto the door frame. She had washed her face and brushed her teeth, but she was still pale and her eyes were still reddened from the efforts. Her other hand resting over her stomach spoke that she still wasn't feeling well.

"Andrew, it's fine." Monica met her dark eyes with his, seeing his distress, "This is my normal right now. You know that. Allie needs your help."

He had expected as much. Monica had always put others ahead of herself. Moving to her side, he helped her over to the couch and helped ease her down, "How are you feeling?"

." What happened, Allie? What's wrong with Leroy?" She overlooked Andrew's question for the moment as her concern for her friend got the better of her.

"I'm not sure. His wife didn't give me details. Just that he would be out for a time."

"Angel?"

"I've been better, but I'll be fine," She returned back to his question, though her eyes still flashed worry for Leroy, "As soon as my stomach settles I'll take the medication. I forgot to take it last night which is probably why it is hitting me so hard this morning."

"Honey, you gotta remember it," Allie scolded gently. She had a terrible soft spot for these two kids. They were hard workers and so obviously in love with one another that it warmed her heart.

"Yes, you do," Andrew murmured, smoothing her hair back from her face, "I hate seeing you like this."

"I know." She smiled weakly at both of them before resting her eyes on Andrew's piercing green ones, "Help Allie. You are a wonderful cook and I will be fine. I'll take my pills soon and sleep a few more hours and will feel as good as new. Promise."

He sighed and turned his head back to Allie, "I'll be there by opening, Allie. Let me fix her some hot tea and then I'll be on my way."

"Andrew, thank you so much. After the lunch rush, take a long break and come check on Monica. I can handle things until you come back. I'll see you in a bit. Honey, you feel better now, ya hear?"

"Yes, ma'am," Monica managed a weak smile as she leaned her head back on the couch and closed her eyes.

As Allie left, Andrew put on the kettle and then sat down next to her and stroked her forehead, "Any better yet?"

"Not yet," Opening her eyes, she smirked at him, "You worry too much, you know."

"Only about you, baby. Do you think you can drink some tea if I fix it for you?"

"I can try. Then you need to get ready."

One cup of tea and one shower for Andrew later and he was still agonizing about leaving her, "Can I fix you some toast before I go? Do you feel like you can eat?"

"Not yet," Monica replied patiently. Though she still felt wretched, she was more accustomed to feeling this way now and she knew what to do about it. Once Andrew went to work, she would curl up on the sofa and sleep for an hour or two and then wake up, feeling almost as good as new. The illness barely phased her now, but poor Andrew still took her feeling badly to heart.

Sitting down beside her on the sofa for a moment, he brushed her hair back from her face, "You'll sleep?"

She gave him a tiny smile, finding his concern so sweet, "Yes. Thank you for agreeing to help Allie."

"Angel, you don't have to thank me for that. I always want to help…it's just hard for me to leave you if you aren't feeling well. You'll call the diner if you don't feel better when you wake up?"

"You know I will."

"I know you'll feel better or that you'll call the diner if you don't?" His green eyes held just a hint of teasing.

Her tired eyes flashed a smile at him, "Both. Any more questions?"

"Just one," His hand moved to stroke her cheek tenderly, "Do you know how much I love you?"

Monica's expression softened and she blinked back a tear, "I think as much as I love you, which is with my entire heart and soul; with all that I am."

"You are such a smart little angel," Andrew murmured as he brushed his lips to hers, "I'll check on you this afternoon, all right? Take your pills and lie down for a bit." He had already placed the prescription bottle on the table next to her tea. Kissing her once more on the lips and then the forehead, he stood up and grabbed his jacket. One more concerned look over his shoulder at her and he was gone.

Obediently, Monica took the medication before she dragged the quilt from the back of the sofa and lay down. In minutes, she was fast asleep.

Xxxxxx

Two hours later the little angel awoke but her eyes remained closed as she attempted to gauge how she was feeling. Her stomach still felt a tiny bit queasy but nothing like this morning and she was fairly sure given another hour she might be able to eat, as she knew that would be Andrew's first question when he came to check on her.

Opening her eyes slowly, Monica wondered if maybe later she would feel up to walking to the hospital to check on Leroy. The older cook had become a bit of a mother hen to her at the diner and was constantly offering Andrew advice on being a boyfriend. It sometimes made her giggle as she wondered what Leroy would say if he knew his blonde friend was an extremely protective angel.

Giving a little sigh, she threw back the quilt, no longer content to just lie on the couch. The little apartment felt far too huge when Andrew was not in it with her and loneliness suddenly filled her heart. Though still a little weary, Monica grabbed a shower and dressed and then threw her hair up into a ponytail. Putting some bread into the toaster, she then surveyed their little apartment. Andrew had made the bed before he had left for the diner, so she busied herself with folding the quilt and laying it back on the couch, but with that finished, she was left again wondering what on earth to do with herself.

Nibbling gingerly at a piece of toast, she wandered back over to the bookcase and ran her finger along the children's titles, pondering why Allie had them all. Her finger stopped on another children's classic, "Little Women" and she carefully removed the book from the shelf. Laying her partially eaten breakfast on the bookcase, Monica opened the hard bound cover and was both pleased and surprised to find an inscription inside the book.

"_Em, this was one of my favorites as a girl. I know you will enjoy it as well. Thank you for always making me so proud. I love you, Momma"_

The little angel's mind went back to the first night Allie had brought her here but the conversation was not clear in her memory. She had been so sick and had been awake for over twenty-four hours due to her head injury. Monica had been lost, confused and hurting deeply that night and had scarcely had the presence of mind to listen to Allie's words, but she did remember the woman saying something about "her girl." At the time, Monica had assumed it had been a former tenant as if it had been Allie's child, wouldn't she have said "My daughter."?

Intrigued and restless enough to feel curious, Monica glanced inside a few more of the books, her breakfast now forgotten, and found some similar inscriptions. Though she and Andrew had been here together for a few weeks now, she had never really explored the apartment, but her innate curiosity now had the better of her, and she found herself opening the closet door and glancing up on the shelf.

She had noticed boxes there before and now she stood up on tiptoe to try to reach them. Sighing with frustration, her dark eyes glanced back across the room and then with great purpose, Monica dragged a kitchen chair over to the closet and stepped up onto it, steadying herself by holding on to the closet door frame.

A few of the shoe boxes held various papers but nothing of much interest. The shelf was deep and one box was shoved way back into a corner. Standing on tiptoe again, and stretching as far as she could, her fingers finally reached the box just as the chair tipped forward and she felt herself slipping…

"Monica!"

She was caught before she could fall as Andrew scooped her into his strong arms and she looked up into stern, green eyes.

His heart had leapt to his throat as he had opened the door to see her slipping and he had been at her side in an instant. A proper scolding was on the tip of his tongue, but for the moment he pressed his lips to her forehead in relief that neither she nor the baby had been hurt by a fall.

"Sorry." Monica's sheepish dark eyes met his as she nibbled her lower lip, though she could not deny the safety she felt in his arms. But his stern expression was back in place and she knew she deserved the lecture, though Andrew's rare scoldings were nothing like Tess'.

"And just what exactly did you think you were doing?" He raised his eyebrows as he placed her gently back on the floor.

She gave a tiny shrug, "I was bored and a wee bit lonely."


	13. Chapter 13

Andrew's intended scolding died on his lips at her reply and the tiny smile that appeared on her face at knowing he was not upset with her. Instead, he found himself chuckling as he set her on her feet, "And chair climbing was the answer to bored and lonely?"

Monica shrugged and grinned, "Not specifically. I was trying to find out who Em is."

"Em?"

"Yes. The books; many of them are made out her and are signed 'momma', but Allie never mentioned a daughter. So really, I was trying to find a little assignment-."

A tender hand on her stomach stopped her words, "You have a little assignment right here, Angel."

"Yes," she replied, resting her hand atop of his, "But you see, she doesn't answer back yet when I talk to her."

Her beautiful, brown eyes were so serious that Andrew was once again convinced that a more adorable angel had never been created, "Nonetheless Monica, you still need to keep her safe and chair climbing may not be the best way to do that."

She sighed and leaned into him a little, "Point taken. No more chairs."

"Now that we got that settled, how are you feeling?" He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and led her toward the kitchen.

"Better. I slept for awhile."

"And did you eat?"

Monica wrinkled her nose in confusion for a moment before her eyes traveled over to the bookcase, "Um, almost."

Following her gaze Andrew saw the toast sitting on the bookshelf, "I'm not sure almost counts, sweetie." But he had already suspected as much. Cooking had never been her strong suit; actually he would go so far to say she was a culinary challenged little angel, "I brought you lunch…and not from the diner. From that little café you like so much."

Delight was evident on her face as now that her stomach had settled she was quite hungry and if she knew Andrew at all, he had gotten her a grilled chicken salad with raspberry vinaigrette dressing. Sitting down across from him at the table she opened the box and hungrily took a bite, "Thank you. It's wonderful."

Andrew's own hungry eyes drank in the sight of her as she took a few bites of her lunch. Her cheeks were slightly flushed and a few wisps of her ponytail had come loose to hang around her sweet face. She always took his breath away. He didn't know what this new arrangement of theirs would hold, but he would fight for their relationship.

Oblivious to his appreciative gaze, she looked up at him, "Did you hear anything about Leroy? Will he back soon?"

"Actually, no," Andrew replied after a moment, her voice pulling him from his reverie, "Leroy actually fell and broke his hip, Angel, so he won't be back anytime soon. I'll be filling in for him for awhile, but the pay is a bit better."

Her face took on a worried pucker, "You'll be cooking all the time? All day like today?"

A grin tugged at the corner of his lips. Reaching across the small table, he smoothed the worry lines from her face, "No baby. Allie has already started interviewing for a second cook. She knows she doesn't have the time to do it anymore when I am off and she knows she will never be able to keep me away from you any day but today from opening till closing."

Turning her head, Monica kissed his palm, "I'm so pleased, Andrew. You won't have to handle those hot dishes anymore," Taking his hand she looked at it intently, "Though you never seemed to burn yourself quite as much as I did."

Andrew managed to keep from chuckling, knowing it was just one more of Monica's kitchen quirks that had her so accident prone when she was in them, "Well, you are much better suited working the business end of things, Angel. You were far too overqualified to wash dishes."

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously, "And you weren't?"

"Well, we both did what we had to do at the time, but I would much rather it be me in the kitchen then you in your condition."

"I suppose I cannot argue with that, but I still wonder if maybe you are teasing me a wee bit."

"Never."

His expression was so sincere that it warmed her heart, "If you say so."

"I have to get going soon," Andrew's voice held regret as he sighed, "What will you do to combat your boredom and loneliness the rest of the day?"

Taking another bite of her salad, the little angel chewed thoughtfully and then swallowed, "I had contemplated going to the hospital to visit with Leroy…though in reality, I'm not sure where it is, but I'm certain I could take the bus."

Though the town was small, Andrew also knew that Monica could get lost going around the block, but he never wanted to squelch her confidence in anything, "You know, I'm not working until late tomorrow as Allie has a friend filling in until she can hire another cook and I would like to see Leroy too. Maybe we could go together in the morning?"

This idea obviously pleased her as she smiled happily and Andrew returned her smile, knowing he had dodged another bullet. Keeping the little angel safe while not letting her know he doubted a few of her abilities was at times a full time job but one he enjoyed immensely. Getting up from his chair, he put his jacket back on and walked over to her. Laying his hands on her shoulders, Andrew kissed the top of her head lovingly, "I won't be home till after ten. Call if you need anything, okay?"

"I will, Andrew. I actually brought some of the book keeping home on Saturday so I have something to work on for awhile to pass the time," Reaching up she placed a hand over his that still rested on her shoulder, "I'll miss you."

His heart swelled with great love, "I miss you already, Angel."

After a sweet kiss goodbye, Andrew was again on the five block walk back to the diner. Half a block into his walk, he looked over to see Adam meeting his strides.

"Adam!"

The other Angel of Death gave a half grin, "Good to see you. Just thought I'd check in as I hadn't heard from you. I take it you found Monica?"

Andrew nodded his head, "I did and it was a good thing I did or I'm not sure what would have happened to her," He could all too clearly remember the night she had nearly fainted in his arms, sick, dehydrated and exhausted. He glanced at his companion, "What's the word at Home, Adam?"

"It's been quiet. Word has it you took a chunk out of Tess' halo when you last saw her." He was unable to hold back a chuckle, but seeing as Andrew' didn't so much as crack a smile, he added what his friend really wanted to know, "I don't think they are looking for either of you."

A relieved sigh escaped the blonde angel, "Good to know. Not that it would have mattered."

"So how is Monica?"

"She's better," He gave another side glance at his friend. He wanted to tell Adam about the baby, but he didn't want to put his friend in any position to have to lie for him in the future, "She had, uh, been pretty sick before I found her."

"Sick with a human condition?" Adam's brow knitted together in confusion.

"You could say that."

"And she's better now?"

"Most of the time."

"Andrew, why don't you level with me? You know I'm your friend. I mean, I helped you find her. I'm in this pretty deep in case you haven't noticed."

Stuffing his hands into the pocket of his jeans, he took a leap of faith, "Monica's pregnant."

Those words were enough to stop Adam in his tracks, "No really. What's really wrong with her?"

Stopping as well, Andrew couldn't help but grin, "I told you. She's pregnant; we're pregnant."

The other Angel of Death stared at his friend in total disbelief, "Pregnant? An angel? Andrew, how…" Seeing his friend raise his eyebrows, Adam shook his head, "Scratch the 'how'. Andrew, this is unprecedented!"

"Tell me about it. Monica wasn't sure if the baby was a blessing or a punishment but it has to be a blessing, right? Otherwise there wouldn't be a baby, would there?" His own anxiety now came out as he could voice it to someone. With the little angel, he remained positive all the time, but a small part of his heart was unsure. He had no point of reference; he and Monica were breaking new ground.

"I…I don't know, buddy. New life is always a gift though, right?" Adam himself was also struggling for words that would reassure but he could barely wrap his angelic mind around this one.

"I think so." Adam's face was still registering shock, "We never planned this. The day you and Rafael brought us together…we didn't think we'd ever see each other again…and we almost didn't. If I hadn't made up my mind I wasn't going to listen to Tess and Sam anymore and instead elected to find her, we'd still be apart and only God knows what would have happened to her by now. She was so sick when I found her, Adam. She nearly passed out in my arms and she was dehydrated and had lost weight as she had been so sick.-"

"Andrew, you don't have to explain anything to me. I know how much you two love each other. The question is, what are you going to do now?"

His blonde head bowed again as he resumed walking, "I don't know. I just know I'm not leaving her. I love her with my all heart and she needs me and I need her. We're in this together, come what may."

The older angel regarded him in silence for a few moments before speaking again. Adam didn't have answers, but there was one thing he did know, "Just so we're clear…I'm in your corner and I'm sure Rafael is too. We'll do anything we can to help. You two have a place to stay?"

"We do. We're both working and the person who employed us is renting an apartment to us. We're doing all right, Adam."

"Okay. Listen, I'll be in touch and if I hear anything you will be the first to know."

"Adam? If you hear anything, please find me alone. I don't want Monica under any more stress than she is already. Her pregnancy has been a delicate one and I don't want her upset if I can avoid it."

"Understood. Give her my love, ok? We're keeping you both in our prayers."

XXXX

Sighing, Monica closed the accounting books and rested her back against the couch. She had managed to work for several hours but it was still only 6:00 and Andrew wouldn't be home for at least another four hours. She so preferred the days that they were both at the diner as even though Andrew rarely allowed her to be there all day, it beat being alone all day. She was so accustomed to being surrounded by assignments and other angels and now being trapped inside of an apartment all day was starting to wear on her.

Cocoa brown eyes gazed out the window and it seemed the sunshine and fresh air was calling her name. Getting up, she grabbed a sweater and the key to the apartment and slipped out the door.


	14. Chapter 14

The air and the fragrance of early spring filled her lungs and her senses seemed to completely come alive. The trees were just beginning to get little buds on them and the old magnolia tree a block down from the apartment was already in full bloom, its perfume floating through the breeze and guiding her steps.

Monica was almost surprised to find herself feeling undeniably happy. The town was on the precipice of spring, there was new life growing within her womb and Andrew was back at her side. Add to that the fact that she felt as if she could feel the Father smiling down on her and the auburn haired angel was unable to help but lift joyful eyes to the sky and whisper a prayer of thanks.

Walking towards town, the little angel carefully avoided the diner. She knew her beloved Andrew would fret that she was out without him as he worried about her but she knew she would be home long before he got off work. The little café where he had bought her lunch was open and she chose a seat outside and ordered a decaf coffee. The patio was crowded as many of the town's residents apparently had the same idea to take advantage of the beautiful evening and the quickly approaching sunset and as she sipped her coffee, she enjoyed watching the people around her and listening to bits and pieces of conversation. She wasn't really paying attention, just enjoying sound of something other than her own breathing. She had always loved all of God's children and just hearing their laughter and small exchanges this evening was enough to fill her heart with great joy.

Monica's hand moved to rest over the tiny bulge on her stomach as she carefully considered that she was, at the moment anyway, a part of this human race. Yes, her nature was still angelic but right now, her body was completely human, but this little life growing inside of her made her feel as if she was a part of something special; something no other angels had ever been a part of, only she and Andrew.

Smiling to herself as she took another drink of her coffee, her mind was suddenly focused on the conversation of two elderly women who were sipping sweet tea at the table across from her own. The person they were talking about immediately grabbed her attention.

"Did you see Allie today? That poor dear. Can't believe it has been five years. Feels like it happened yesterday."

"I did see her as I stopped in the diner for lunch just to see how she was doing. She's a strong one but you can always see the weight of the world on her shoulders on this day each year. I'm not sure I'd have survived what she went through. Such a terrible accident."

"She and Ryan were so much in love…and that sweet little Jonah. Cannot imagine losing your husband and your son in the same week."

"Worst tragedy this town had seen in a while. Such a small place and not much happens here, Lord knows and then when something does, it is so heartbreaking."

The coffee cup felt frozen in Monica's hands. They were talking about Allie; about how some terrible accident had taken her family from her and the little angel's heart broke for her friend. How could Allie have never said anything about this to her? Her mind turned as she went back over every conversation she'd had with the human and finally one comment returned to her memory.

"_Not too long ago, I had that same lost look in my eyes you got in yours now and a couple of angels helped lift me up so I could keep on keeping on."_

Monica's first impulse was to run to the diner and hug Allie and tell her how sorry she was for her loss, but a moment later, she supposed that would not be the best form of action. She wondered what kind of accident had taken her family from her and she wondered once again who Em was. The woman had mentioned Ryan and Jonah but nothing about anyone named Em.

The thought occurred to her that there was a library a few blocks over and she pondered if they kept old newspapers on file on the computer. Laying down the money for her coffee, the angel got up and made her way down the street. She was a little over confident however, as the library didn't seem to be where she had last seen it on an outing with Andrew, so it took her twice as long to finally stumble upon it. Actually finding it however, did make her feel as if she had conquered a battle.

The local newspapers were on the computers so after much trial and error, Monica was finally able to find a newspaper from just over five years ago; the day after the accident and it had made the front page. Dark eyes read article and held much anguish as she read about the traffic light being out and the driver of the car not thinking about stopping. Another car, driving over the speed limit had rammed into Allie's husband's car on the passenger's side, instantly killing Jonah. The other driver was charged but due to the outage of the lights, got a reduced sentence, though he was still serving his time from what Monica could imagine. The name of the driver of the car was not listed as the driver had been under eighteen years old. But there was no mention of what had happened to Ryan.

It had truly been a horrible, tragic accident.

Sitting back in her chair, the little angel wiped at her eyes, imagining Allie's grief, even as her hand moved to stroke her belly. Already Monica knew she would lay down her very existence for the life of the little baby that belonged to she and Andrew and the mere thought of something terrible like this ever happening to her child or Andrew caused her to stifle a sob.

She wished there was a way to broach the subject with Allie but it felt wrong to admit to looking up the accident because she had overheard someone talking about it. The only way to offer comfort or any words of wisdom was for her boss and friend to confide in her and there was no guarantee that would ever happen.

Frustrated, Monica stood up and prepared to leave the library only to discover that darkness had fallen while she had been inside. The sun had been fading in the hour it took her to get here but she had been on a mission and had not given much thought to it.

Her first impulse was to try to find her way home but then she thought better of it. If she had learned one lesson over the last two weeks with having Andrew back in her existence it was what he had been constantly telling her; that he was there for her.

Walking over to the desk, she smiled at the elderly librarian, "Excuse me. Is there a phone I could use? I hadn't realized the time and I am a wee bit far from home and wanted to call my…" She hesitated, wondering what to call Andrew. Boyfriend seemed silly, "My friend to see if he can come and get me."

The woman looked as if she might turn the young woman down as it was against policy but something about the Irish tongued lady resonated with her. Her face was so hopeful and earnest she found herself nodding, "Come with me, honey."

An hour later, as Monica stood just inside the library doors, she saw Andrew walking with great purpose up the sidewalk. Waving goodbye to her new friend, Eva, the little angel hurried outside to meet him and found herself immediately wrapped up in his warm embrace.

He centered himself by holding her close as her call had scared him a bit though she had assured him she was fine and simply lost track of time. But finally he spoke, his fingers running through her long auburn hair, "Let me guess. Bored and lonely?"

A tiny giggle escaped her as she gazed up at him with great love in her eyes, "Maybe a wee bit. It was such a nice night."

His expression softened as he brought his lips to hers in a tender kiss, "I'm glad you called instead of trying to find your way on your own, Angel."

"Well, I'd like to think I have learned a few things from hanging out with you over the years," She was still grinning up at him, her sadness over Allie forgotten for the moment in light of Andrew's loving, green eyes, "And I already worried you with the chair incident today."

Andrew laughed and kissed her again, more slowly this time, stealing her breath as his fingers tangled in her long, auburn hair, "I missed you today," He whispered, pulling away just enough to speak the words before kissing her several more time, not with the same passion but with no less love, "Are you hungry?"

"A wee bit. Do you have to go back to the diner?"

"As a matter of fact, I do not," Releasing her, his heart skipped a beat when she sweetly slipped her hand into his as they started walking in the direction of the soup and sandwich shop in the next block, "So what inspired you to go the library? Did they give you a card?" His wink caused another giggle to escape her.

"No. I was looking something up on the computer," She crinkled up her nose, "And you know, I never realized how complicated the computers are, Andrew. There are a great many steps to just access a document."

He suppressed a smile. She was so wise about so many things but some of the human inventions, like stoves and computers, puzzled her completely. He found it all adorable, "Well, Angel, if we have time one day, I could probably you show you around a computer.

"Actually, I find your lessons about the stars more interesting, I think." He squeezed her hand affectionately and she continued more seriously, "How was Allie today?"

He fell in step with her change of topic, rather accustomed to her jumping from one thing to another in a blink of her lovely brown eyes, "She seemed fine. We were pretty busy in the afternoon and a few of her friends stopped in to talk to her. We slowed way down tonight so when you called she told me to go get you and not come back until tomorrow afternoon."

Andrew immediately noticed her silence in the next few moments, but waited patiently, knowing she would voice her thoughts eventually. He knew that something was on her mind but she was not one to be pushed, though he was the only one who could get away with doing just that if he had no other option. This was not one of those times.

"Allie's family was killed in an accident five years ago," Monica finally stated softly. Looking up and seeing the worried look on his face, she continued, "I heard two women talking about it when I stopped for coffee earlier and that was why I went to the library. Her son, Jonah, was eight years old and was killed instantly. The article said her husband, Ryan, was transported to the hospital, but the women today said Allie had lost them both, so I imagine Ryan died later," Hopeful eyes gazed up at him once more, "Do you remember them? Did you take them Home?"

His brow furrowed, searching his memory, "I don't believe I did, Angel. I would have remembered this place. What a tragic thing for Allie to have to go through."

"I want to speak to her about it, but it doesn't feel right to admit I went to the library after hearing strangers talking about it. She hinted to me the night she took me in that she had been in a bad place once where she was helped…I wonder if this was the time she was speaking of, Andrew."

"Sounds like it," He agreed, leading her across the street to the little sandwich shop, where they slid into a booth across from one another, "And I agree with you; bringing up the way you found out may not be the best thing, though I certainly understand that heart of yours wanting to comfort her." Reaching across the table, he linked his fingers through hers as they waited for the waitress.

"Maybe one day she will bring it up to me," Monica said with a little sigh.

He hated seeing her even a tiny bit sad, so he elected to change the subject, "So what really propelled you out the door this evening? Nothing to do with my ban on chairs, was it?"

Her eyes sparkled with his teasing, "No Andrew. I had the window open and the air was so fresh and the wee birds were singing to me, and it seemed they were begging me to come outside with them. So, I went to our favorite café and had a cup of coffee and then I decided to try to find the library, which was a bit more complicated than I had anticipated…"

Andrew chuckled and brought her hands to his lips, "How I love you, Angel. My existence would not be anywhere near as interesting without you in it."

"And mine would be nowhere near as blessed."

XXX

Tuesday night at the diner was unusually busy; busy enough that Monica was forced to give up her favorite booth and retreat back to Allie's office in order to make room for more patrons. Though Andrew preferred her in plain view, he knew she was back in the miniscule room working on the order for the weekend. He was cooking and Misha was serving with some help from Allie, while their new dishwasher, Brandon, was finally working at a reasonable pace.

The blond angel was not crazy about the new help; he had seen the looks the new dishwasher had given to Monica when she wasn't paying any attention to him and they left Andrew feeling unsettled. It also made him take every opportunity to let Brandon know that the little angel was spoken for.

"So when are you making this official?"

Allie's question pulled the angel out of his reverie, as he tossed another raw hamburger onto the grill, "Excuse me….Allie, I'm not sure what you're…"

"I'm talking about Monica," She interrupted pointedly, "That girl is going to have your baby and you need to be making an honest woman out of her. She loves you to death; that much is clear and I can tell you love her every bit as much, so why on earth are you waiting to marry her?"

For a split second Andrew wondered what Allie's reaction would be to him picking his jaw up off the ground and putting it back in place. He was dumbfounded with her question and had no idea how to answer it, "Allie…"

"Listen I know you two have people out there against you but how much do they really matter? Andrew, sometimes love like this only comes once in a lifetime and you need to experience it to the fullest…not that you haven't already," Her wink caused his face to blush bright red and caused her to chuckle, "I'm not talking about THAT. What I'm saying, honey, is that if you know something is right, then it's right and you don't want to waste a moment of the time you have been given together because you never know when it could suddenly be taken away."

"Allie, it's just complicated-."

"I beg to differ," She dumped a bag of frozen fries into the basket and lowered it into the oil, "You love her, don't you?"

Andrew gave her a pointed look, "You know I do."

"And I know she loves you. So what on God's green earth is so complicated?"

He swallowed hard as he flipped the burgers on the grill, "When you put it that way, Allie, nothing at all is complicated but there is more to it than that…one day we may have to go back to our…former lives."

"All right. Let's say you do and let's say there are folks not too happy about it still, but guess what? You're married. There's nothing they can do about that."

Andrew pondered her words. They were partially right and they were as right as they could possibly be until she took into consideration that they were angels and she wouldn't unless they told her, which they wouldn't. But Monica's condition was purely human…and what had placed her in that condition was purely human…

"Put that burger on here, sugar. He wanted it medium rare," Allie interrupted his thought process, "Just think about what I said. I've been around the block a few times, honey, and there is no doubt in my mind that you two kids are supposed to be together, and if you know it too, then what is holding you back? That's the question you need to answer."

Andrew was still pondering that question a few hours later when he and Monica were walking home hand in hand. He knew she was stealing little glances at him out of concern over his silence and that it was only a matter of time before she voiced her worry. He was right.

"Andrew?"

The endearing way she said his name was as soothing as a warm spring night, "Yes, baby?"

"Why are you so quiet? Is something troubling you?"

He sighed heavily, unsure what he wanted to tell her exactly. The truth was his best bet as she was too intuitive for anything else, "I want to ask you something and before I do I want you to know that nothing bad has happened, okay? I haven't heard anything from anyone at Home, other than Adam and I told you about that. So, everything is fine, Angel, and my question is simply out of curiosity. Nothing more. All right?" Despite his best attempt to reassure her, he felt the tremble go through her.

"All right," Her voice sounded small and frightened and it did little to make her feel better when Andrew stopped walking and pulled her into his arms.

"I meant what I said," Andrew whispered into her ear, "You have nothing to be nervous about, Angel Girl. I'm not having this conversation until you believe that and you know I would never lie to you."

Monica breathed in the scent of him and felt the safety of his arms around her as his hand stroked her hair, "I know that. I guess sometimes I just get afraid that something is going to take you away again."

He pulled away enough to take her face into his warm hands, "Never." He stated firmly before bringing his lips to hers in a tender kiss. Pulling away he kept her face cradled in his hands, "Not going anywhere." He whispered softly to her, his voice so gentle and so tender, she closed her eyes and allowed the warmth and love in those words to flow over and through her.

"Thank you," Monica whispered in return, wishing they were home already so she could curl into his arms.

"Not for that, Angel." Kissing her again, he released her face and took her hand up in his own again as they resumed their five block walk home, "What I wanted to ask you is merely something I have been pondering today and I am not sure what I believe is the answer…and I guess I wanted to know if it is something you have thought about at all."

"Ask me."

"Okay, in five months, you and I are going to become parents," Releasing her hand, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders to pull her closer and he kissed the top of her head, "and for the record, I personally cannot wait for that moment." Getting the smile he'd hoped for, he continued, "I guess what I have been wondering about is what will happen after the baby is born."

She glanced up at him nervously, "I…I don't know. I haven't really thought about it."

He raised his eyebrows in near disbelief. Monica the angel was a thinker; he knew that about her and had always known that about her, "Really? Not at all?"

She fell quiet for a moment as she let out a small sigh and glanced up at him, "Before you found me a few weeks ago, I spent a lot time living in the past," Seeing his perplexed expression, she continued, "Whenever I had free time, I would find a quiet place to think. I missed you so desperately, Andrew, and I didn't know if I would ever see you again, so I would close my eyes and try to relive every moment we had ever spent together. I would even whisper out loud to you; telling you how I felt, how much I loved and missed you, how much I wished you were with me…"

"Not like you had anyone else to talk to," Andrew replied, his voice holding a touch of bitterness as he remembered how Adam had described her broken relationship with Tess.

"No," Monica's voice was almost a whisper. She loved her supervisor deeply and she tried not to allow herself to think about what their friendship had been reduced to. She knew Andrew was beyond upset with Tess, and she allowed him that, but she hated to harbor such ill feelings toward someone who had been so important to her existence and in many ways, still was, "I was certain at the time that thinking about all the moments you and I shared was the only thing that held me together. Those memories were the only way I could be with you. Then when I found out about the baby, I was on the brink of panic all the time; fearing bringing our child into the world without you, what would happen to the baby and I once he or she was born. I was worried that the one thing I still had that was a part of you would be snatched away from me. I wasn't sure I would be able to survive that as well as losing you."

The arm around her shoulders tightened protectively as if trying to shield her from the pain of her uncertainty. They had come to the house by now and Monica stopped walking to look up at him as she reached for his hands, ":I spent months either mourning and longing for a past that could not be repeated or feeling terrified of a future I could not imagine. So when you found me, I decided that I only wanted to live in the present. I want to treasure every single moment with you because I don't know if or when they will be taken away."

Andrew looked into her dark eyes, seeing the truth of the world written in them. He had spent some nights watching her sleep as he had worried about the unknown that was their future. But the little Irish angel who had stolen his heart so many years ago had been existing in the present, and only partially due to fear. It was more due to her desire to live in the moments, every single one of them that they were able to share together.

A teary smile spread over her face at the love she could see radiating from his eyes, "I may not always succeed in not being a wee bit afraid of what could happen and there are days where I miss doing the work I was created to do but if my options are going back to work with Tess and never seeing you again or being here with you now, I have to chose now. I just…I love you so much and I don't ever want to be without you again. I've been there and…it was the worst time of my existence."

"Mine too," He whispered, framing her meek face with his hands, "My existence without you, Angel, it was…unfathomable. I wasn't complete without you," Andrew drew in a breath, ragged with emotion, remembering the horrible months of not knowing where she was or if he would ever hold her in his arms again or even touch her at all, "Listening to you, to how you have been handling things, I cannot help but wonder if we are maybe not the ones who were wrong. What if the ones wrong are Tess and Sam? What if our being together is in the Father's plan? How else could our hearts have turned to one another?"

"I wonder those things too. If we weren't created to feel such things, how can we without it being a gift from Him? I'd like to think that God saw something in our relationship that we always knew was special or maybe He knew from the moment that He created me that part of my soul was made to love you."

"I believe that is the truth, baby and I am so thankful it is so." He pulled her close to him in a tight, protective hug, knowing he would never again take for granted the feeling of having her in his arms, "I am so incredibly in love with you, Monica. I can't imagine being away from you like that again."

"Me neither," She murmured and he could hear the tearfulness in her words.

Andrew held her for a few more moments before her led her into their apartment, even as Allie's words ran through his mind.

_Let's say you do and let's say there are folks not too happy about it still, but guess what? You're married. There's nothing they can do about that."_


	15. Chapter 15

_Thank you all for bearing with me in this little endeavor and for all your kind comments. I have recently started back to work full time after being in a part time position for the last five years, so it has eaten into my writing time, though I am not complaining as my new job allows me to work for some of my favorite of God's creations: the animals. So enjoy and I'll have a new chapter up as soon as I can!_

"Angel?" Andrew called her name out worriedly as he sat up in bed. She had been in the bathroom for nearly twenty minutes and he was starting to get worried, "Baby? Are you okay?"

A second later, the bathroom door opened and the little angel emerged, and Andrew had to squelch a chuckle, but he dared not laugh judging by her expression which bordered on highly upset. It didn't take words for him to piece together what had happened beings her nightgown had been discarded for one of his shirts that came down to her knees. He wisely elected to allow her to speak first.

"Nothing fits," Monica murmured, the color high in her cheeks with embarrassment as she slid into bed and crossed her arms self consciously, "My entire existence my human form has been the same and suddenly it is all different!"

Andrew smiled as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders to pull her close, though she resisted… but only slightly. Over the last month, her pregnancy had really begun to show and though Andrew found the changes beautiful, Monica was less than pleased in some ways, "If it is any consolation, you look positively adorable in my shirt."

The way he was looking at her caused her blush to deepen, "Andrew…"

"It's true, Angel. You have always been the most beautiful of the Father's creations and now is no exception. It's true what humans say about expectant mothers glowing, because you do." He accentuated his words with a kiss to the side of her head.

Despite her best attempts to pout, she reached for his free hand and linked her fingers through his, "I love you. Even if you are delusional."

Now he knew he had permission to laugh and she giggled along with him. The sound warmed his heart, "How about tomorrow, we do a little shopping? Though I am perfectly happy to have you live in my shirts, they may not be the best for you going out in public."

"Really?"

She was looking up at him with little girl demureness, and he could not resist cupping her cheek and bringing his lips to hers in a sweet kiss, "Really." Andrew replied once their lips had parted.

Feeling more content, Monica snuggled deeper into his embrace and brought their joined hands to her stomach, "I can't believe how much she is growing."

"Mmm," He stroked her belly affectionately, "Still sure it's a girl?"

She gave a tiny shrug, "No, but I don't like calling her 'it'."

"Have you made your next doctor appointment?"

"Not yet…but I will." She was not surprised to see a stern expression cross his handsome face.

"Monica…you were supposed to do it this week.."

"I know, I know. I just forgot, but first thing Monday. I promise," Dark eyes looked up at him pleading for forgiveness.

"See that you do," His expression relaxed as he looked into her eyes, "I don't want us taking any chances, Angel. That's all. You're still getting sick a few times a week…and I don't want anything to happen to you or to our baby." He brought her hand to his lips, "You are both infinitely precious to me."

"Well, we are both very blessed to have you watching over us."

Hugging her tightly, he wondered how she did it. Her sweet nature never allowed him to even scold her without feeling guilty about it a moment later though he only ever mildly scolded her out of love and concern, "I will always be watching over both of you and that is my promise."

XX

"You don't think we overspent, do you?" Monica bit her lip worriedly as Andrew laid all the packages down on and around the empty chair at their table. He had taken her to the maternity shop in town and though she had tried to be frugal, Andrew was much more insistent that she have the things she liked.

"We're fine, Angel," Andrew reassured her as he pulled out her chair for her. Waiting until she sat down, he leaned down and kissed her cheek before taking his own chair, "Today is about spoiling you a bit."

"Andrew, you spoil me all the time," She smiled at him, and gave a little shake of her head.

"No less than you deserve, baby," He handed her a menu, "You took your pill?"

"I did and I'm quite hungry, you know. All that shopping."

"Glad to hear it. You don't eat enough half the time." He raised an eyebrow in her direction.

"I'm always so afraid of getting sick. The pills help, just not all the time." Monica gave a slight shrug of her shoulders.

Reaching across the table, Andrew took her hands into his own, "I wish that this pregnancy has been easier on you than it has, Monica. I hate seeing you so sick when it happens."

Brown eyes warmed at his honest words and she squeezed his hands, "I know you do. You get more upset about it than I do."

"I hate to see you suffering at all, Angel, and there has been far too much of that for you in the last several months."

"But life has been so much sweeter the last eight weeks," She replied with a little grin as she gazed into his emerald green eyes.

A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, "I'm glad you think so, as so do I." Her happy expression nearly melted his heart.

Dinner was filled with animated conversation as Monica's innate curiosity about human nature made her all the more in tune with the changes in her own body and she was eager to share them all with him. She had yet to feel the baby kick but was so hopeful it would happen soon and she was already positive the baby would be a blonde haired, green eyed beauty, carrying her father's physical features and she dismissed Andrew's arguments that he hoped she looked just like her mother.

But dinner for Andrew was perfect. He delighted in seeing her happy, in seeing the joyful spark in her dark eyes and the way she used her hands to accentuate a point she was making. She was a far cry now from of the little, pale angel he had found eight weeks ago and for that he was constantly whispering prayers of thanks to the One who had created them both.

"It's such a lovely night," Monica smiled happily as they finally arrived in front of Allie's house, "Maybe spring is finally here." She looked at him, his hands full of her shopping bags, "I wish you would have let me carry some of that."

"Nope," Andrew replied firmly, "Besides, clothes are not that heavy." He looked undecided for a moment, ""Hey, are you tired? The night is so nice, and there is that little park just down the street…I was just wondering if…"

"I would love to," She looked at him affectionately. The day and evening had been so perfect and she was in no hurry to bring the day to a close.

He grinned, "Great. Let me put this stuff inside. I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."

She laughed at his stern expression that was accompanied by a playful wink and watched him disappear down the walk to drop the packages off in their apartment. Crossing her arms in front of her, Monica gazed up at the starry night, "Father, thank you for this blessing of our being able to be together and bless this wee one you have entrusted us with. Guide our steps and our decisions and help us to know what is good and true in your eyes. Love, Monica."

As soon as she had finished her prayer, she heard Andrew hurrying back up the walk and she smiled at him, "See? I didn't move an inch."

Chuckling, he stretched his arms over his head, "Feels good to be rid of all those bags. They were a bit cumbersome."

"But Andrew…you said…I offered…"

"Oh no, Angel…they weren't' heavy, but they prevented me from doing this," Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her close as they started walking towards the park, "Much better."

Happily, she wrapped her arms around his waist as they walked, delighting in the warm night and the feeling of his body up against her own. After a day like today her heart felt as if it would burst from its fullness.

"You're happy," Andrew observed as they turned off the main road and started down the path through the park.

"Oh Andrew, of course, I am! Today was wonderful."

He laughed at her enthusiasm, "But Angel, we didn't do anything special."

She cocked her head as she looked up at him, startling him when she stopped walking to give him her full attention, "Andrew, don't you know by now that every minute I spend with you is special? It doesn't matter what we are doing; if we both at the diner or if you are reading to me before we go to sleep at night or just shopping. All those moments are special and perfect and so precious."

Emotion welled up inside of him for a moment, rendering him speechless. While words failed him, he took her face in his hands and met her lips in a long, sensuous kiss that left Monica reluctant for it to end. But once it did, he took her hands firmly into his own, "Come with me, Angel."

He led her down the path to the little gazebo that sat amongst the trees. Having never been by the park at night, Monica gasped softly at seeing the white lights that outlined the wooden gazebo, their white glow against the white paint making it look festive and elegant.

"It's so lovely," She breathed out the words as Andrew led her up the few steps and into the structure.

He waited until she sat down to sit down beside of her, taking her hands into his own. He brought each of her hands to his lips, kissing each one tenderly, "I brought you here to talk to you, Monica. I didn't really plan on having this conversation tonight, but it just felt like the right time."

The perceptive little angel could clearly see he was nervous, "Andrew?"

A tender finger against her lips silenced her, "Just listen for a minute…I've been thinking a lot about us and about the baby and about the fact that we are angels and trying so hard to make sense out of things that maybe aren't supposed to make any sense. I'm not sure of how to reconcile two angels falling in love with each other, yet alone one of them getting pregnant." He watched as she bit her lower lip, a sure sign that she was nervous and unsure of where he was going with this, "But then I wondered if I really needed to reconcile it at all. Maybe it was just for me to accept as something that simply IS. I don't want to change it. I can't imagine feeling any other way about you other than being completely in love with you. If God told me tomorrow that He could take away these feelings, Angel, I would beg Him not to do it."

As he paused for a breath, Monica released hers that she felt as if she had been holding in forever, "I would too. I always want to feel the way I do right this second about you."

Andrew nodded his head, gathering his thoughts once more, "And then I got to thinking about something you said a few weeks ago…about how you were trying to exist in the moment and baby, it made so much sense to me. We don't know what tomorrow or next week, or next month is going to hold for us. Only the Father knows that, but I have to believe with all my heart that He is blessing us…that He is allowing us to be together because nothing else makes any sense…well, almost nothing else."

Monica's heart was about to pound out of her chest, she was sure, but when Andrew got up and knelt down in front of her, the tears rushed to her eyes, barely able to comprehend what was about to happen.

"Angel…my beautiful, precious angel, if we are living in the moment then I want it to be right…and there is only one other thing that makes sense to me and that is how I feel about you; how I have felt about you for as long as I can remember, Monica. Maybe I'm tired of wondering what is going to happen because what matters to me is what is happening now, between us, with our baby. I love you so much; I love both of you so much and maybe it is far too human of me, but I don't care anymore. Say you'll marry me, baby. I want to make everything I feel for you official, both here and in the heavenly realm," His fingers trembled as he pulled a red velvet box out of the pocket of his jacket and slowly opened it.

Andrew was sure he couldn't breathe and that he had never been so terrified in his existence; as if her answer was what would give him impossible happiness or absolute despair.

Monica could barely make out the diamond in the Celtic setting through the tears that continued to fall from her eyes. Her fingers moved to touch the ring in the box, but then she drew them back to cover her mouth and the soft sobs shook through her. There were tears in Andrew's eyes as well and she hated feeling so conflicted, "I…I don't want us to do…anything wrong….Andrew…" His name was a plea for him to make this all right.

A tearful smile and he reach up to wipe at the tears on her face, "I didn't buy the ring, baby. I talked to the Father about wanting to marry you and I found this the next morning under my pillow."

Her tears came in earnest then and it was all she could do to speak around them, "I love you…I love you…"

"Say yes, Angel. Please say yes and make me happier than I can ever deserve to be,"

As a tear escaped his eye, Monica moved from the bench to fling herself into his arms, burying her face against the nape of his neck, "Yes…yes, Andrew…I love you so…"

He held her tightly against him, breathing in the sweet scent of her hair, "I love you too, baby. So incredibly much. Monica, there are no words…" After a moment, he pulled away a little and took the ring from the box. Taking her left hand, he slipped the ring onto her finger. It fit perfectly. She was still crying, but he quieted her by touching his lips to hers in a multitude of kisses and whispered words of love.

XX

Their wedding was a small affair with only their friends at the little church they had been attending. What the ceremony lacked in attendance it made up for in joy as their friends from the diner and the church could testify, as none of them had ever seen Monica or Andrew so happy. When the pastor pronounced them husband and wife, Monica started to cry and there was not a dry eye in the church at that point.

There was no honeymoon due to funds and work, but when the angelic couple returned to their apartment they were deeply touched to find that dinner had been prepared for them and that their bed was made up with a fresh satin comforter and rose petals, compliments of Misha.

As evening fell, they enjoyed the dinner together and spent long hours talking before they finally moved to the bed. Monica was feeling undeniably shy at first but Andrew was ever patient with her and never pressured her in any way and it wasn't long before her love for him took over and she lost herself in all that he was.

Later, as they lay wrapped up in each other's arms, Monica turned her head and kissed his shoulder, before snuggling closer to him, "I missed this part of us." She admitted, blushing slightly at her own words.

"Me too," Andrew whispered, running his fingers lightly up and down her shoulder, watching as her dark eyes closed sleepily, an expression of what could only be called absolute contentment on her face. He was certain he would never want for more, "I saw Allie talking to you before we left.."

"Mmm hmmm," Her eyes remained closed, feeling his warm skin beneath her cheek, "She told me we had become like her kids and that she was so happy we made this official," She emitted a small sigh and opened her eyes, "I detected that she was feeling a wee bit sad though. I wish she would talk to me about her family."

"Be patient, Angel. Look how far Misha has come since having you entered her life. Allie will confide in you eventually; I'm sure of it."

"Misha," Monica smiled sleepily, "She is such a sweet girl and I think those piercings rather become her in some way."

"Thinking of getting your lip pierced?" Andrew teased, doubly amused when she opened her eyes in horror.

"No!" Seeing the mischief in his eyes, she appeared thoughtful, "Unless…would you like that, Andrew?"

Grinning, he captured her lips in a long, passion-filled kiss, "Nah, don't need a piercing getting in the way of kissing you, not when such an act is perfect just as it is."

"So you don't think it could add a whole new dimension to the kissing, I take it.?"

He loved this side of her personality that emerged most often when her heart was at great peace, "There is no new dimension needed for this beautiful face."

"Andrew…" Monica was blushing again, though she supposed she should be used to his compliments and the way he looked at her as if she were the most desirable creature on earth or in heaven.

"Only the truth, baby," Kissing the side of her head, he settled back in bed again, content to hold her in his arms, "I wish we could have done this right, you know. Humans celebrate marriage with a honeymoon and I wish I could have given you that."

Rolling over onto her stomach, her hands resting on his chest, she looked at him seriously, "But it isn't something I need. I have everything I need right here. With you. Where we are doesn't matter, Andrew; this," Inching up, she kissed his neck, working her way up to his strong jaw, "is the only geography I need."

Emitting a low growl, Andrew moved to draw her back down onto the bed and brought his lips to hers once again in a deep, loving kiss that lasted a small eternity, "I love you so much," He murmured when he pulled away just enough to speak the words.

Blinking back happy tears, Monica stroked his handsome face, "You're all I need, Andrew." She whispered in return before their lips and souls collided once more.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

_I don't know if anyone is still following this. I'm so sorry about the long wait but I have not given up on this story. Life just gets in the way sometimes. Those of you who are still with me, thank you and I hope you enjoy the newest chapter._

Marriage was blissfully sweet and as the weeks passed, Monica wasn't sure she could be much happier. Yes, she still battled sickness due to her pregnancy, but her doctor was pleased with her for the most part. And there were many days she missed doing the Father's work, but more often than not, she was reminded that He was smiling down on his angels.

Spring went from being moderately chilly to hot and humid seemingly overnight but despite the radical change in temperature, Monica was still surprised to wake up one morning feeling positively wretched. Her head ached, her throat was sore and chills invaded her entire body. She attempted to sit up and the feeling of her head spinning caused her to return it to Andrew's chest with a soft moan, but even a quiet sound of distress from the little angel was more than enough to wake up her ever protective angelic husband.

"Angel? Baby?" Moving carefully from underneath her, he looked worriedly at her flushed face and rested his hand against her forehead, "You have a fever," He murmured worriedly, as he got out of bed and went to rummage in the bathroom for a thermometer. Returning, he put it under her tongue as he sat on the edge of the bed and stroked her hair, his worried green eyes taking in the glassiness of her own brown pools. He watched as her hands moved down to their baby and her panicked eyes found his again.

"It'll be okay, Monica," Andrew assured her, taking her hand into his own, feeling the sweaty clamminess of her skin. But it was hot in the little apartment. There was no air conditioning and the spring weather was out of the ordinarily with temperatures suddenly in the nineties and once the humidity was factored it, putting it closer to one hundred degrees. They had a fan aimed at the bed and now he was wondering if the cooler night two nights ago, combined with the air from the fan directly on her wasn't responsible for her being so sick now.

"One oh one point four," He gave her the verdict and laid the thermometer on the nightstand. Standing up, he leaned over and kissed her forehead, "Be right back, Angel."

There was very little he knew to do for her. Putting extra blankets around her would be obscene due to the temperature in the apartment, so he instead, found a wash cloth and filled a pan with cold water. Returning to her side, he wrung out the cloth, folded it and laid it across her forehead, "Tell me how you're feeling?"

"My throat is sore," The hoarseness of her Irish lilt substantiated her words, "My head hurts and I just…I ache," Frightened doe-like eyes searched out his reassuring gaze, "Our baby? Will my being sick hurt her, Andrew?"

"Shhh," Andrew caressed her cheek to calm her worry, "She'll be fine. I'm going to keep a close eye on your temperature to make sure it doesn't go too high and Allie should know what medication you can safely take. I don't want you worrying, all right? I am going to take care of you."

A weak smile flitted across her lips, "You always do. You're forever my angel," Her weary eyes began to close and he brought her hand to his lips.

"Forever, Angel."

While the little angel slept, Andrew showered and walked over to Allie's front door. Though they saw each other at the diner more days than not, the sight of Andrew at the front door early in the morning was enough to cause Allie's heart to leap into her throat.

"Andrew? What's the matter? How is Monica? Are she and the baby all right? Good gravy, get in here as it is hotter than Hades out here," She moved aside to usher him into the kitchen.

"Allie, Monica's sick. I think it may be the flu and I'm not sure what she can take being pregnant. She's running a fever and though it's really warm over there, I don't think the fan is the best idea…"

Allie's eyes flickered with concern, so clearly seeing the worry on Andrew's face for his beloved wife, "I was going to call you this morning anyway, Andrew. With this unseasonably hot spell we're having, I have called about air conditioning being put in your place but it won't be till tomorrow and you two cannot stay in that heat. I have several spare rooms, so why don't you go get that dear little thing and bring her here? I'll round up some medication and get the room ready. You two stay here until the air is installed tomorrow."

Her voice held no room for argument, not that he would have argued anyway. He was out of his league on this one. He had cared for Monica before when she was sick but sick and pregnant was a different story and he didn't want to do anything wrong.

So thirty minutes later, Andrew was tucking her into the queen sized bed in Allie's house. Pulling the covers up over her small form, he stroked her slightly sweaty hair back from her face, "Better, Angel?"

"Cooler," Monica murmured, covering her mouth as a cough shook through her body and elicited a look of anguish from the Angel of Death.

"Allie is making you some soup and hot tea, baby. Once you have some food in you, you can take the medication she has for you." Sitting on the edge of her bed, Andrew reached for her hand, already loathing when he and Allie would have to go to the diner for several hours. He so did not want to leave her alone.

But the little angel was extremely perceptive at reading his thoughts and she managed a weak smile, "I'll be fine, Andrew. I'm so tired…I think I will just sleep most of the afternoon."

"I'm sure you will but that still won't keep me from coming to check on you during my dinner break," He replied matter of factly as he placed a stray bit of hair back behind her ear. He wished her delicate human system wasn't struggling so and it seemed it had been one thing or another for the last few months, between the pregnancy sickness and now this virus. Yet she never complained and somehow it made him feel all the worse for her being sick in the first place, "I'm sorry."

Her eyebrows knitted together in obvious adorable confusion, "Andrew? For what? You haven't done anything wrong."

"Maybe not, but I just wish it were me feeling so poorly all the time. I don't like you having to do all the hard stuff."

Despite feeling horrible and aching right down to her bones, Monica smiled as the truth of his words washed over her, "I sometimes wish it were you too, but only so I could have the chance to take care of you the way you always do for me."

Her earnest expression despite being so pale, brought his lips to her forehead in an intense kiss, "I love you so much, beautiful angel," He whispered, his hand still resting against the side of her head.

Allie arrived soon after with tea and soup and Monica managed to eat about half her meal; at least enough for Andrew to feel satisfied that the cold medication that Allie had assured them was safe for her take, would not upset her stomach. For two hours, Andrew sat at her bedside, watching her sleep, always her protector, but the time finally came for him to leave to go to work.

Sighing deeply, he leaned over the bed and kissed her forehead, grateful when she never stirred, "Sleep, my sweet angel," He whispered, "I'll be home as soon as I can."

XX

Monica woke up a few hours later, still feeling achy and cold, but she knew she was alone by a glance at the clock. Both Andrew and Allie would have been at the diner for awhile now and she sighed softly. She hated being alone, especially when she was sick, but though she tried to fall back to sleep, she felt too restless to close her eyes. Maybe a drink of water or juice would help, though she had no idea what was here in Allie's home or if she should help herself.

Slipping out of bed, she waited until the spinning of her head settled before walking out of the bedroom and to the kitchen. The effort was exhausting and she stopped to rest before pouring a cold glass of orange juice and sipping at it tentatively. Her throat was still sore and she still felt feverish and she supposed she should get back to bed. But instead she found herself slowly and rather dazedly walking into the living room.

The room wasn't large but definitely cozy and decorated with county accents that seemed to suit Allie perfectly. Woven baskets lines the shelves along with little plaster plaques that said things such as "Count your blessings" and "Simplify". There was a stone fireplace with a wooden mantle above which was filled with framed photographs.

Steadying herself by holding onto the furniture, the little angel made her way to the mantle to get a closer look at the pictures. There were several of Allie with a man she assumed had to be Ryan and sadness filled her heart as she looked at his face, so full of life, brown eyes laughing as he hugged Allie to him. It was obvious the two had been very much in love and she shuddered imagining how horrible it must feel to have the one you love the most taken away.

Blinking back tears, Monica took in the other photographs; several were of a little boy, who had to be Jonah and then there were some with Jonah and a girl who appeared to be a few years older than he was. The angel frowned. Something about the girl felt familiar, but her head was aching so terribly it felt difficult to focus on why. Glancing back to a picture of Ryan, Monica realized that maybe the reason the girl seemed familiar was that she seemed to be the very image of Ryan, but Allie had never mentioned a daughter, nor had the newspaper. Was the girl some other relation altogether, like a cousin or niece?

A fit of coughing overtook her that shook her small frame and magnified the pain in her head but she managed to make it back to the couch before sinking onto it weakly as she tried to catch her breath. Her room suddenly felt miles away and she wished she had just stayed there.

"Angel?"

The sound of her angelic husband's voice was like music and great relief filled her heart, "In here."

The voice was hoarse and weak and Andrew quickly walked to the source, "What are you doing out of bed? Are you all right?" He knelt down in front of her and immediately felt her forehead, relieved to find she at least didn't feel any warmer than this morning.

"I was thirsty," He followed her gaze to the juice on the table, "And then I just felt so weak…"

He didn't wait to hear anymore. Slipping his arm under knees and the other around her back, he lifted her into his arms, knowing how badly she was feeling when she simply rested her head on his shoulder. After gently situating her back in bed, Andrew smoothed back her hair from her face and then reached for the thermometer, "Let's see how you're doing and while that is under your tongue, let me go fill up your juice glass for you. I'll be right back."

Sinking back onto the pillows propped up behind her, Monica closed her eyes as she waited for him, hardly able to believe that such a tiny outing to the living room had tired her so much. She couldn't wait to fall back to sleep, but then Andrew was back, setting the juice glass down on the nightstand and taking the thermometer from her mouth.

"It's actually down a tiny bit, Angel, and it's time for more medicine too," He poured the orange liquid into the little medicine cup, being especially careful she only get the recommended amount and even chuckled a little at her face after she drank it. It was a taste she was obviously not fond of and he handed her the juice glass immediately.

"Thank you," Monica stated softly as she handed the half empty glass back to him, "How long can you stay?"

"How about the rest of the day and all of tomorrow?" He smiled at her surprised and slightly more alert expression, "Allie called Ben in to cover for me. She wasn't too happy with you being alone either."

A weak smile graced her pale face, "I feel better already."

Though he knew that really wasn't the case, Andrew also knew how much being sick had always frightened her. Though she was now fairly calm when her pregnancy illness flared up, he had seen the nervousness in her eyes earlier before she had fallen asleep and the fearfulness when he had just found her in the living room, "Well, as much as I would like to believe that is true now, I hope it will be soon. I brought you home some of Allie's homemade chicken noodle soup you like. Do you think you could eat?"

"Not yet. Maybe later. I'm just so sleepy all of a sudden….but will you stay?"

"Monica, of course. I brought your books home so I can catch them up for you since you're sick and I plan on doing that right here." Walking around to the other side of the bed, he slipped off his shoes as he sat down and then swung his legs up onto the bed, leaning up against the headboard, the accounting book on his lap, "See? Not going anywhere. So let's get you tucked in so you can rest."

She leaned forward as he readjusted her pillows for her, and then he chuckled as she moved them closer to him, so she could snuggle in right beside of him, "Is this okay?"

"Perfect, baby," He worked his fingers into her hair, combing through her locks, as she closed her eyes sleepily, "Feel better, Angel," He added softly, but he could see she was already fast asleep, "I love you so much, Monica." Andrew's words caught in his throat, suddenly overcome by emotion as he gazed down at her, "and I sometimes wonder if you truly have any idea just how much."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

The little angel did not turn the corner until the following evening when her fever finally broke and she spent most of the time before that sleeping with Andrew rarely more than a heartbeat away from her. When Monica was awake, he coaxed her to eat and once she had taken more medication, she would fall asleep in his arms and he would occupy himself with a book or more often he would simply contemplate her sweet features as she slept.

The air conditioning was installed in their little apartment but Allie would not allow Andrew to move her until the fever broke and once it did and Monica was sleeping peacefully, it seemed wrong to move her until the next morning.

The walk to her own apartment felt exhausting and Monica sighed as she sat down on the sofa when they arrived at long last, "I can't believe how tired I am after such a short walk," She marveled, looking up at her husband before he sat down next to her.

"The flu can do that, Angel. You just need a few more days to recover and get your strength back is all. Which means no work for a day or two yet."

His expression was stern as he knew she would try to argue and he was right, "Andrew, but I feel so much better already." She hated staying home alone; it was too quiet and too lonely and she missed him desperately.

"I know you do but you have to be careful, baby. I want you completely recovered so you and our baby remain happy and healthy."

A little sigh and then, "I know. You're right. I just wish you weren't." Most of her discontentment dissolved as Andrew pulled her into his arms, "I'm sorry. I just don't like being away from you."

"For the record, it is not my favorite thing either, but you really do need to rest," This was one of those frustrating times. In the past, if Monica had needed to take off time for some human ailment or some incredibly difficult assignment, if he had to work, Tess would be there to help stay with the little angel. The three of them had looked out for each other, and now that the trio was a duo, it was much more difficult. He knew Monica was more than capable of being alone; she simply didn't like it and with her being pregnant and recovering from a nasty flu, Andrew also wished she didn't have to stay alone, but it was now their reality.

"I know and I'll be fine." As always, she seemed to know what he was thinking and she had an innate need to calm his concerns, "I'm actually still feeling rather tired and a nap would be nice."

Kissing her forehead, he hugged her a bit tighter, "I put that pot of soup on the stove, so all you have to do is heat it up if…when you get hungry. Please eat something this afternoon, Angel."

"I will. I promise. Just hurry home, all right?"

Her dark, expressive eyes were so hopeful, he couldn't help but to kiss her softly on the lips, "I will. You have my word."

"And you have my heart."

XX

By the following afternoon, Monica was stir crazy as she wandered around the little apartment, paging through books and flipping through television stations, but nothing held her attention for long. As an angel, she was quite accustomed to being busy and even in this new human life, she was often at work with plenty to do. She had no trouble being idle for a time if Andrew were around to talk to as she lay curled up in his loving arms, but alone and left to her own devices was proving to be a huge challenge.

Monica had pleaded to be able to go to the diner today but not only Andrew, but Allie as well, was not having any part of it. She was still a little on the pale side apparently and her husband and friend were insistent no risks were taken. So now, she sat on her knees on the couch, longing eyes gazing outside, willing the time to pass until Andrew got home.

Her dark eyes gazed over at Allie's house and her mind went back to a few short days ago when she had been there looking at the photos in the living room of Ryan and Jonah…and the girl who looked so much like Ryan. Turning around the little angel rested her hands on her stomach, willing her baby to kick. She had yet to feel it and Monica was sure it should be happening soon. Sighing, she looked over at the bookcase and was again reminded of the mysterious "Em" the books were made out to and she wondered if Em could possibly be the same person in the pictures.

"Father, what is the answer here? I feel as if I am missing something. Surely I still have some angelic ability left."

As soon as the little prayer escaped her lips, her eyes were drawn, almost against her will, to the closet. The box. She had forgotten about the box. Jumping up, Monica walked over to the closet and opened the door. Standing on tiptoe, she was just able to make out the box in the far corner of the closet shelf. With Andrew's ban on chairs that she could not bring herself to break, her eyes scanned the room for another option. A broom was perfect.

With the broom handle, she coaxed the box closer to the edge until she could reach up and grab it. With a triumphant child-like grin, she carefully sat down on the floor with the box and still feeling somewhat guilty, she gazed at the top of it. For a fleeting moment, Monica contemplated putting it back on the shelf and never looking at its contents. It wasn't that she was being nosy; not really. She simply wanted to find a way to help Allie and she had a suspicion that whatever was in the box would allow her to do just that.

Removing the lid, her eyebrows knitted together in confusion as she slowly removed a large stack of unopened letters, each of them stamped "Return to Sender. No forwarding address." Each letter was addressed to "R. Emily Hamel".

"Em." Monica whispered aloud as she read that the return address was Allie's and Allie's last name was Hamil. Emily was her daughter, the other girl in the photo and she had moved away and her mother had no idea where she was. But why? Why would a daughter lose all contact with her mother? Monica's hand went instinctively her to protruding belly. She could not imagine such heartache.

"What are you doing?"

The sound of Allie's angry voice, caused the little angel to rise to her feet, the box still in her hands. She had never seen her friend upset but now the woman's face was flushed bright red and her blue eyes sparked with anger, "A-Allie. I didn't mean-."

"Those don't belong to you," She continued and in two strides she had the box ripped from the angel's hands, "I have been good to you, Monica and this is how you repay me? By snooping through my things?"

Monica face flushed pink with shame, "No…I didn't mean to snoop…I was just trying to find out who the girl was…who Em was….in the books…in the photos…" Monica was desperate to make things right again, "I wanted to help you-."

"Help me? By prying into my business?"

"Allie. Please. I'm so sorry," Monica's hands were opened and her face was imploring forgiveness.

"Stay out of my business!" Allie ordered before she turned around, the letters in hand, and slammed out of the little apartment.

XX

Two hours later, Andrew was shocked to find a very tearful little angelic wife when he returned home at the end of his shift. Holding her tightly in his arms, he listened to her confession and though she was terribly upset, Andrew had to hold back a chuckle at his beloved angel girl's insatiable curiosity. He knew there was no maliciousness in Monica's actions; only her need to help combined with a little boredom.

"Just give her a little time to cool off, Angel. She'll forgive you and even understand your motives. I'm sure of it."

Resting her head against his chest, Monica gave a teary sigh, "Do you really think so?

"I do, baby. Allie knows you well enough to know you meant no harm."

"I shouldn't have done it," She murmured, shaking her head in obvious self reproach.

Andrew sighed and caressed her cheek tenderly, "Maybe not, but you can't change what has already happened. Angel, Allie loves you and she won't stay angry. I'm sure of it."

The little angel fell silent for a few moments and when she spoke again, her words surprised him, "Do you ever feel lost, Andrew? With not performing your angelic duties? With wondering what your purpose is now?"

He pondered her words for a moment, though he already knew the answer, but he wanted to be careful with her delicate state of mind at the moment. Pulling away gently, he took her tear streaked face into his hands. His loving green eyes penetrated hers as he swiped at the remainder of her tears, "No. Though it feels odd at times to not be performing my duties as an angel of death, I have a much greater assignment now, you know." Monica's slightly confused expression simply endeared her to him all the more as he explained, "I have been assigned to love and protect the sweetest most beautiful little angel girl I have had the pleasure of falling completely in love with. And if that is not enough for me, which it would be, because being in her presence is the best feeling I could ever ask for, this sweet, beautiful little angel girl is carrying my baby in her womb and the mere thought of that takes my breath away and makes me feel like the most undeserving creature on earth. I realize that my most important assignment is these two amazing angels and nothing makes me feel more proud or more fulfilled."

His words reduced her to new tears, "I love you so much, Andrew! Just so incredibly much. Sometimes I just feel as if I should be doing more….or being more. That's why I wanted to help Allie-."

A finger to her lips silenced her, "I know, sweet angel, but you are wrong. What you are doing is taking care of our precious baby," His hands moved from her face to her protruding belly, "And that is so important, baby."

"I know you're right, "Monica whispered, swallowing another sob that rose to her throat, "I feel so useless sometimes and I hate that I have been sick and you always have to take care of me."

"Angel, it is a privilege. You are so precious to me; to me you are everything. Please don't cry. This time together with you has been such a gift to me."

"To me too. Please don't think it isn't and maybe once our wee one is born I will feel more useful instead of just…big…"

The second the words were said a tiny flutter seemed to happen within Monica's womb. It caused her to gasp and Andrew removed his hands quickly from her belly, somewhat startled, but a heartbeat later, a grin spread across his face, seeing the awe and wonder on his wife's beautiful face.

"Andrew! Did you feel that?"

Nodding his head eagerly, Andrew laid his hands against her abdomen once more, just in time for the baby to give another mighty kick.

"Andrew!"

Looking up, the Angel of Death's eyes shone with love as he saw the smile and great joy on Monica's face. He knew she had been waiting impatiently to feel movement of their baby even though he knew it would happen when the time was right.

"She's telling you how much she needs you, sweetheart," he stated softly, feeling yet a third movement ripple through his wife's abdomen.

"She knows the sound of your voice," Monica murmured tearfully, running her fingers through Andrew's blonde locks, "I love you both so much."

Raising his head, Andrew's lips caressed hers for a moment, "My beautifully perfect little family," he whispered, his voice laden with great emotion, "My greatest blessings."


	18. Chapter 18

I have probably lost most followers of this story, but I am determined to finish it! Hope some of you are still reading!

The air at the diner was strained the following week as apparently Allie could hold a grudge and she was most displeased with Monica. Several times, the little angel tried to pull her aside to apologize but the woman always found a way to not be alone with her. Andrew was fully aware of Monica's distress and did his best to reassure her that Allie only needed a little bit of time, but his words fell on deaf ears. Monica was incredibly fond of her friend and the thought that Allie was angry with her was almost more than she could bear.

Andrew was beginning to think he was going to have to intervene on his wife's behalf as Monica had resorted to picking at her food and despite the fact that she would often try to hide it from him, he knew her well enough to know how upset she was. With the angel being almost eight months pregnant, he was simply unwilling to allow this to go on much longer and his protective instincts were on overdrive.

He was thinking he was going to lose the opportunity to speak to Allie once again as he watched her getting her things together on Friday afternoon, "Allie? You're heading out?" Business has been slower this afternoon as there had been a break in the hot temperatures and the locals were choosing not to spend the evening indoors, even to eat.

"I have a few errands to run, Andrew," She replied briskly, not noticing the way Monica's head shot up from her booth where she was working on the accounting for the business, "Our wholesale produce guy's truck broke down this morning and we are nearly out of lettuce and onion so I need to swing by the farmer's market to pick up enough to see us through the weekend."

Before he could even respond, Monica was clearing her table, "I'll come with you."

"That won't be necessary," Allie began, her voice still holding a tinge of anger that caused Andrew to give her a hard look.

"No, it is necessary," Monica's voice was just as firm as she decided she was not going to be put off again. She struggled slightly to her feet, her pregnant body causing her to move a bit more slowly.

Allie did not miss Andrew's piercing green eyes and she emitted a small sigh, "Fine. My car is out back. Andrew, I will take her home once we are finished."

"Thank you," He replied, not missing the relief that shone in his wife's expressive cocoa colored eyes, "I'll see you at home, baby."

The silence between them was nearly palpable as Allie started the drive to the outskirts of town, but Monica was unwilling to let another day pass without somehow making this right.

"Allie. I meant it when I said how sorry I was last week. I never meant to hurt you."

"You had no right to go through my things," the woman replied, a hard edge to her voice as she kept her eyes on the road ahead.

"No, I didn't," Monica admitted sadly, "I just…I have been worried about you and I thought if I understood more, I might be able to help you."

"Worried about me?" Now she gave a sidelong glance at her young friend.

"Yes. You see, Andrew was reading me some of the books in our apartment and I couldn't help but notice the inscription in the books and then I was out one evening and heard two women talking about you…talking about the accident…" Monica didn't miss Allie's sharp intake of air and she continued with great caution, her voice a soothing whisper, "I'm so sorry about your husband and son. I can't imagine the amount of pain you have felt…that you still feel."

Emotion had lodged itself in her throat and all Allie could do was give a sharp nod in acknowledgement at first before she found her voice once again, "Jonah was killed instantly…he was thrown from the car. Ryan…well, he was on life support…"

"Oh Allie," She murmured, tears pricking the backs of her eyes as the puzzle began to come together, all but the missing piece, "But who is Em?"

There were tears streaking her face now at the mention of the name that still caused waves of pain to flow through her, "My daughter. Emily. She was driving the car that night. We're…estranged. She moved away…I don't even know where she is now. I knew once…she had gone back to school in California for nursing…but she's moved and has not told me where she is," Allie's hand left the steering wheel to wipe ineffectively at the tears, "The letters…they have all been returned to me as address unknown. She's all I have left and I don't know where she is or if she is all right…"

Monica was certain her angelic abilities had returned as the images rushed back to her. Laying in the emergency room after fainting and hitting her head. The attending physician had tried to get her to stay but after the shocking news of her pregnancy, she had been too stunned, confused and terrified to do so and risk Tess finding her. She remembered how as she had tearfully stumbled out into the broad daylight, the voice of the young nursing student had broken through the chaos that had been her mind for weeks. She had tried to convince her to stay for observation that night due to the angel's concussion, but Monica had refused….

"_Well, then, can I at least call you a cab or call someone to come get you?" The girl's worried hazel eyes took in the pain in Monica's expression and she wanted to help any way she could, "You really shouldn't be walking around out here with that nasty cut on your head. It isn't safe. Who can I call?"_

_Emotion threatened to choke her. The only individual she wanted anyone to call was Andrew but that was impossible. Everything was impossible. When had her entire existence suddenly become about impossibility? _

"_There's no one. I…I don't even know where I'm going. They can't find out the truth…" A tiny sob escaped her, the sharp intake of air causing a twinge of pain in her head and her fingers moved up to brush lightly against the bandage on her forehead._

"_About your pregnancy? What about the father?"_

_A soft, pain-filled moan escaped her at the mere thought of the baby's father. She needed him so desperately; wanted more than anything to feel his arms around her, to hear the certainty in his voice as he told her it would all be all right, "I have to go…" _

_But where? If Tess found out about the baby, Monica's existence would become more of a living hell than it already was if that were even possible. Tear-filled eyes finally turned to her companion, her eyes barely making out the name badge on the student nursing uniform, "Rachel…where are you from?"_

_Confusion filled the girl's eyes, "Hambleton, West Virginia…"_

"Allie…" The words finally formed on her lips as her memory cleared, "Rachel…."

"That's her middle name," Allie replied, confusion laden in her voice, "How do you know that?"

"Because I know where she is."

"What?!"

As their eyes met, neither of them saw the other driver run the red light and only the high pitched sound of rubber on concrete caused them both to turn horrified eyes to the road. White hot pain seemed to explode from Monica's body at the same instant the sickening sound of twisting metal reached her ears. She barely felt the burning sensation to her face nor the pressure to her chest though she was slightly aware of Allie's car being pushed violently across the road. Another deafening crash brought fresh pain before her entire world went black.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

He was running.. Faster than he had ever run before, his heart pounding in his throat and his blood seeming to explode in his ears. Every breath was a prayer, a desperate plea for her to be all right. He could bear no other alternative.

He burst through the doors of the hospital, frantic green eyes searching. He longed to see her walk through the doors that led back to the emergency room, a sheepish smile on her lovely face and her dark eyes guilt-ridden at having caused him so much fear. But she was nowhere to be found. It didn't even sound like his voice when he stopped at the information desk and told them her name, Allie's name and he nearly wept when assurance did not come from the nurse at the desk. Instead he was led to a small room and all his experience as an Angel of Death reminded him that these rooms in hospitals were only used for bad news. His hands clenched and unclenched as he struggled to keep some control over his emotions as he waited for someone to come into the room and tell him that his world would soon return to normal; that his wife and tiny unborn child were going to be fine.

Everyone knew everyone in the little town of Hambleton and Dr. Barlett greeted Andrew by name when the door finally opened ten minutes later. Everyone frequented the diner at some point and the angel had spoken to the doctor on several occasions. The grim expression in the man's eyes now did little to comfort him and Andrew nearly forgot to speak. When he did, it was one single, hoarse word.

"Monica…"

Sitting down, Greg Bartlett faced the young man from the diner that he had met on several occasions, along with his sweet, Irish wife. The young couple was very obviously in love and Greg dreaded the news he had to deliver.

"She's in surgery, Andrew. So is Allie," Andrew's face was nearly expressionless though he paled considerably. He longed to be able to tell him something positive, but the situation was incredibly grim right now, "The accident was bad. The other driver ran the light and Allie wasn't able to avoid being hit. The other driver hit the driver's side of the vehicle and the air bags did deploy, but the driver didn't stop and Allie's car was run off the road and into a guard rail…on Monica's side of the vehicle."

Andrew only needed one tiny bit of information but Greg wasn't telling him what he needed to hear, "Will she be all right? Please tell me she will be all right."

"Andrew, I don't know yet. Monica's critical. She has internal injuries and a deep head laceration. She has a few broken ribs and one pierced her lung. It was a miracle she came to us alive."

Andrew's eyes looked away as his jaw tightened to ward off the cry that longed to escape him. How could this possibly be happening? He only wanted to turn back time to that morning when the little angel had woken up in his arms, her sleepy dark eyes finding his as color rose in her cheeks at the realization that he had again been watching her sleep. Would that be the last perfect moment he ever spent with her? It could never last him the rest of eternity. He was sure this could not become anymore of a nightmare until Greg uttered the next words.

"We delivered your daughter. Monica's body had undergone so much trauma and we had to deliver her by cesarean in order to save her. Her organs are not yet fully developed and it's too soon to tell if she can pull through. She is in an incubator and is being tube-fed."

Starring at the doctor, Andrew's green eyes burned with unshed tears, "A girl? We had a baby girl? Monica knew she would be a girl though we never found out…"

Andrew's words were the rambling of a man in great shock whose mind was unable to comprehend all he was being told so he had fixed on the one thing he could handle, "Yes, a girl. Andrew…I can't begin to tell you how much I want to be able to give you something more, but I just can't. They are both critical, but Monica should never have been alive when she got here, so she has to be fighting. Don't let go of your hope. She has already given you two miracles today; she is alive and so is your baby."

Andrew struggled to clear his mind; to focus on the questions he needed to ask, "Monica is still in surgery?"

"Probably for awhile yet. Your daughter is in the intensive care nursery. You won't be able to hold her or touch her, but you can visit with her."

"And Allie?"

"Her condition is serious but not critical. The driver hit further back on the driver's side so her situation is not as dire. We are confident she will wake up in a day or so." Rising to his feet, Greg laid a fatherly hand on the angel's shoulder, "I have to get back to your wife. Andrew, go see your daughter, the nursery is on the 7th floor and I will get you as soon as Monica is out of surgery."

The blond angel remained seated as the doctor departed. He felt rooted to the spot and all Andrew could do was to drop his head into his hands. He couldn't even pray he was so numb to the news he had just received. This morning, he'd had his heart's desire and now he stood to lose them both. The pain was almost too much to bear. The heaviness in his chest was almost physical and he had to stagger to his feet. He was on auto pilot as he found the elevator and hit number 7.

After choking out who he was to the duty nurse, he was asked to put on a gown and green coverings for over his shoes and every action reminded him of how bleak the situation was. When he was led to the incubator that housed his baby girl, Andrew could only sink helplessly into the chair that had been provided.

A tiny miniature of her mother, the baby could have fit into one of his hands. She was quite still, a tube taped near her mouth and an oxygen tube in her small nose. The pain in his chest tightened. He knew if she survived, she would not remember any of this but right now she was so helpless and fighting to live that Andrew's heart physically hurt at the sight of her. All he wanted was to hold the tiny being close to his chest; this little angel that was a result of the love he and Monica shared.

"Little angel girl," His voice was a choked whisper as his fingers touched the plastic that separated them, "We love you so much, your mom and I….hang on, little baby."

Andrew's eyes burned but remained dry as he sat with his newborn daughter for the next two hours until Dr. Bartlett came to get him. He had never felt so powerless.

XX

Monica had survived the surgery but outside of that, there was very little good news. She was breathing with the help of a respirator and other machines monitored her vital signs. There was concern that she would not wake up but would instead fall into a coma, though the doctor advised that a coma might be a blessing in disguise due to the extent of her injuries. It would keep her free of pain while her body attempted to heal.

Andrew leaned against the door to her room, his pain filled eyes taking in the sight of his beloved angel. Nothing Greg said could have prepared him and it wasn't even the machines that terrified him. It was how still she was. It was the deep bruising around her eyes, all the tiny cuts on her delicate skin caused by the airbag deploying, it was the bandaging around her head and the cast on her left arm and the knowledge that beneath the blanket and the hospital gown that there were stitches from two surgeries; one to save his daughter and one to save Monica.

The tears he had held back with their baby now refused to be contained as they coursed down his face. Andrew never could have imagined loving someone so much but the little angel had stolen his heart so long ago and that love had only grown over the years. Without her, he was sure he would cease to exist. He wouldn't want to exist.

Suddenly, he couldn't get to her fast enough. Falling to his knees beside of her bed, he took her hand that was not in the cast into his own. She was warm; alive and he had never been more thankful. Bringing her hand to his lips, he kissed her knuckles, his lips lingering on each one as he tried to convey his great love for her. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, how he wished he was the one in the bed, how their baby daughter looked so much like her, but none of those words were his first.

"Don't you dare leave me. Do you hear me, Monica? You fight this and you fight hard. You will not leave me." Andrew's voice trembled and emotion threatened to overtake him. He steadied himself by bringing his other hand up to her face, his touch feather-like, afraid of hurting her, "You have no idea how much I love you. I know you don't. Angel, I can't exist without you, so fight this, baby. Please fight this." His hand came up to wipe at his face, silently cursing himself for not remaining strong for the little angel, "Come through this for me and I will spend the rest of eternity making sure you know exactly how I feel about you every moment of every day. But you rest now. I don't want you to feel any pain. I will be right here with you. I promise."

Bringing her hand back to his lips, he held it there and closed his eyes, his prayers finally coming fervently for his wife and his daughter and as the hours stretched into night, Andrew never let go of her hand.

XX

By morning's light, the news of the accident had spread through the small community and though flowers were not permitted in the Intensive Care Unit, other well wishes began to arrive in the way of silk arrangements, stuffed animals and cards and Andrew was again reminded of the lives the little angel touched on a daily basis.

Guilt had been tearing through him as he knew he should go visit with his daughter but the thought of leaving Monica's side was nearly unbearable. He had been updated throughout the night that their baby was holding her own and for that he was eternally grateful.

His back ached from sitting in the chair all night at Monica's bedside though he had managed to doze off once or twice for brief periods. He was angry with himself when it happened, afraid that she would slip away while he slept. Her condition did little to calm his fears. The bruises on her pale face were deeper now, shades of black and purple and to anyone else, Monica's face would probably be unrecognizable. The official word came the next afternoon that she was indeed in a coma and it both relieved Andrew and terrified him. He knew were she awake that she would be in horrific pain so he was relieved she was being spared. But a coma also meant she may never again awake.

"Andrew, you need to go get some air and something to eat," Greg remarked two nights later when he came into the room to find the angel in the same position he had been in the night before.

"I can't leave her," Andrew replied, a hint of harshness in his voice that the doctor would even suggest such a thing.

"Listen to me," Greg approached and met the angel's eyes with his own, "She is stable right now and this is going to be a long process. You cannot spend weeks in this room and never leave it."

"Weeks?"

Drawing in a deep breath, Greg nodded his head, "Andrew, Monica has suffered terrible trauma. Even without the coma, she is going to have a long recovery…"

"If she recovers…" Andrew whispered, stating what he knew the doctor was leaving unsaid.

"I am cautiously optimistic but yes, Monica is still critical. You need to get out of this room at least once a day or you will not be of any good to her. Go get a bite to eat downstairs and go outside and get some air. I promise it will refuel you and you are going to need that."

The angel's eyes lingered on Monica's face, knowing the doctor was right but hating to leave her, "Baby, I'll be right back. You just keep sleeping and remember how much I love you," Standing, Andrew leaned up and brushed a gentle kiss against her cheek, "How I love you."

Though he got a sandwich in the cafeteria, he only ate part of it and what he did eat felt like lead in his stomach. Being away from Monica was pure hell for him and he finally settled on drinking a large cup of coffee before getting up, intent on returning to her room.

"Andrew?"

The sound of Misha's soft voice caused him to turn around and his expression softened, seeing the tears in the girl's eyes, "Misha."

"I need you to come with me," She stated simply, shyly reaching for his hand.

"Misha, I need to get back to Monica…"

"This won't take long. Please."

Andrew consented with a nod and allowed his friend to lead him to the lobby and out the sliding doors of the hospital. What greeted him there nearly took his breath away.

Gathered in the small park next to the hospital were dozens of people; patrons from the diner, the staff, friends from church. Everyone was holding candles and in the waning light, Andrew could make out every face, but it was the two faces directly in front that pushed the angel to his breaking point.

Rafael and Adam.

Andrew felt familiar arms enfold him as silent sobs escaped him. He hadn't realized how alone he had been feeling until he had seen and had felt the years of friendship that stood between them and brought them together.

"What are you doing here?" He uttered once he was able to speak once more.

"We've been watching over your daughter," Adam replied softly, watching as his friend nearly crumbled once more at those words, "Don't feel guilty, Andrew. It's why we were sent."

"You need to be with your angelita," Rafael added, keeping a hand resting on his friend's shoulder.

"Who sent you? Tess? Sam?" His red-rimmed eyes searched their faces.

"No, my friend, much higher up than that," Adam grinned sadly as he glanced briefly to the sky before looking back to his friend, "The candlelight vigil was Misha's idea. So many are praying for all of you and for Allie."

"I could lose her." Andrew's words were choked out, his mind barely even able to wrap around what he was saying, "If I lose her…my existence…it won't mean a damn thing."


	20. Chapter 20

A third night at Monica's bedside saw Andrew drifting in and out of sleep, his exhaustion, both emotional and physical, getting the better of him. But every time he woke up, he would talk to the little angel until he was hoarse, filling her in on their little baby girl, the candlelight vigil, Adam and Rafael keeping watch over their child. He spoke of his great love for her, their future together and their happiest times. Andrew would speak until he could no longer keep his eyes open and then with her smaller hand in his own, he would drop back off to sleep for a time though his rest was far from peaceful.

Walking out of her room for coffee or to force down a few bites of food was sheer agony and his only goal was to be gone for as short a period as possible. Rushing back from lunch, Andrew nearly collided with Greg Bartlett as the doctor came out of Monica's room. Andrew felt his entire world nearly come undone at the sight of him, "Greg…Monica…."

The doctor's eyes flashed with great sympathy and he put a hand out to steady his young friend, seeing how pale Andrew now was, "There has been no change, son, but Allie is awake and asking for Monica. I explained to her that Monica was unable to speak to her right now and she insisted I find you."

The angel's anxious green eyes looked past the doctor into his wife's room, the need to get back to her greater than anything he had ever felt before. He had been gone long enough and if on any level at all Monica could sense his presence, he didn't want her feeling alone, even for a heartbeat, "I…Monica…."

"Son, she's stable right now. I'll have Susie sit with her while you are speaking with Allie and if she moves a muscle, I will have her get you."

Andrew swallowed hard against his guilt at leaving for any time at all. Susie was his favorite nurse and they had spoken at great length several times about Monica and their baby, but it still didn't make being absent from the little angel any easier. He found himself nodding his head against the resistance that was building up in his chest, making it difficult to breath, "I won't be long."

He knew what room number was Allie's. Susie had told him, though he had not commented on it at the time. Walking down the long corridor toward her room, he knew he was struggling irrationally. He was furious with Allie; angry with her for getting so upset with Monica that it had consumed his wife, making her desperate to resolve her friendship with the woman who had taken her in when she had been all alone in the world. Had Allie just accepted Monica's many apologies, had she only stopped being so bull-headed about her privacy having been violated, Monica would not have gotten into the car with her that day. Didn't the woman know Monica at all? All this time, and she had clung to the idea that the angel had been meddling in her affairs instead of only longing to help.

He stopped short just outside of Allie's room, and rest his hand against the wall trying to get his emotions under control once more. Now was not the time for anger and he knew it. Now was the time to inquire on how Allie was feeling, force his way through any questions about Monica and the baby and then return as quickly as possible to her room.

As the door to her room opened, Allie' first thought was that Andrew looked like hell. His clothing, generally impeccable was rumpled and she was fairly sure it was what he had been wearing the night of the accident at the diner. His hair was disheveled and the dark circles beneath his eyes only seemed to accentuate the pure exhaustion in his green orbs. She knew what raw pain looked like; she had witnessed it in her own mirror many times.

"Andrew…"

She was sitting up in bed which surprised him, "How are you feeling?" He remained standing at the foot of it, unable to come any closer. Any more steps only took him further away from the one he loved.

"I'll be fine. How is Monica? They were unable to tell me anything."

Of course they couldn't. Human privacy laws were strict, even in small towns and he had to force the words out of his mouth, "She's in critical but stable condition right now in the ICU." He couldn't say the rest of the things Susie had told him; the possibility of brain damage, the fact that she could remain in a coma indefinitely, that he might never see those beautiful brown eyes smile at him again.

Her sharp intake of air brought him back to reality, "Oh dear Lord, Andrew….and the baby? The baby is safe?"

Again he had to put voice to the pain in his heart, "They had to take the baby the night of the accident to attempt to save her. She's tiny and fighting to survive." He stuffed his hands into his pockets and avoided Allie's eyes.

"Andrew, I am so sorry," Allie whispered, her voice choked with emotion, "That dear, darling girl….I hate that she has to suffer so…that you all do." Noticing instantly that he seemed to be staring at an invisible point on the wall, she drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, "You're upset with me."

Andrew hadn't expected her to see through him so quickly and he wasn't sure of how to respond, "The accident wasn't your fault." He stated simply.

"No…." Her voice quieted on the word as she observed him for a moment, "But you are upset that she felt the need to get into the car with me to begin with."

Raising his head, he looked toward the ceiling and left out a deep breath, "I know it isn't rational, Allie. You certainly didn't mean for this to happen, but it's a fine line for me right now. I know I shouldn't be angry with you, yet I am. I thought you knew Monica well enough to know she was not trying to pry but only to help, but I was wrong. I thought she would be safe going with you to get the forgiveness she so desperately wanted, but I was wrong about that too. I know you are not responsible for what happened to Monica, but yet I cannot bring myself to absolve you of fault. It's not rational. It's only what I feel in this moment." His chest felt as if it might explode, "I have to get back to Monica."

"Andrew, please. Let me ask you one question before you go." For the first time since he had come into the room, his eyes met with hers. She could see his desperation to get back to Monica's side but she had to know the answer, "Monica….just before we were hit, she told me she knew where my daughter was. Do you have any idea?"

He took a step back, feeling as if the wind had been knocked out of him, "Your daughter? How would Monica have known that?"

Disappointment flooded her features, "She figured it out or something while we were talking about the accident my family was in. She was getting ready to tell me when….when it happened."

It. The horrible accident that stood to take all he loved away from him. The pull in his chest increased, wanting to propel him back to her side, "I don't have the answers for you, Allie. When….if Monica wakes up you can ask her yourself. I'm….I'm glad you are going to be all right." He turned on his heel and took long strides to the door.

"I'll be praying for all of you, Andrew."

Her words were the last thing he heard before he was back in the hallway and purposefully walking back to Monica's room. It only took him a minute to be back at her side, taking his chair next to her bed, and tenderly grabbing her hand in his own.

"I'm sorry I was gone for so long, baby." Andrew kissed her hand and held it next to his face feeling her warmth against his skin, "Allie is going to be fine. I know you would want to know that as I know you and how much you care about everyone else. But she will be fine so I don't want you worrying about her," He paused for a moment and reached up to stroke her hair with his other hand, "Allie mentioned something about you knowing who her daughter is. I'm afraid I couldn't help her with that one, angel, as you have apparently figured something out. But that doesn't surprise me as you are one wise little angel. You always have been."

His greatest wish was to see her brown eyes open. He knew there would be fear in them due to the respirator and the noise from the other machines, but he could reassure her about those things. But for her eyes to remain closed was nothing less than sheer torment for him and it had only been three days.


End file.
